Sunday, February 12, 2012

Election 2012

As my readers know, I'm running for President this year.

Now, admittedly, my entire campaign thus far is based on one issue, but yesterday while attending a 9-year-old girl's birthday party with my kids, I came up with a second point.

While I strongly support freedom of expression, I also believe some times are better than others to express your beliefs.

So, if elected President, I promise you this:

Any father who shows up at his 9-year daughter's birthday party wearing a T-shirt that says "IT AIN'T GONNA SUCK ITSELF" with an arrow pointing downwards, will be immediately castrated by specially trained fashion police.

Vote Grumpy, 2012!

42 comments:

JoAnna said...

You have my vote.

Texas Pharmacy Chica said...

...by 'police', you mean rabid beavers, right?

oddharmonic said...

I like your campaign issues.

I think siccing Dr. Phil on said fashion offender would be pretty hilarious.

Anonymous said...

This father was no doubt a firm believer in family values.

Quarter Life Crisis said...

I totally support you for president, Grumpy!

Anonymous said...

To think that man has reproduced.

gloria p said...

You've got my vote. I can't believe anything that offensive would be sold or worn. I wouldn't send my kids to that house to play, EVER.

outre said...

I vote for putting leeches on his ‘it’

Grumpy 2012!

Bertha said...

I will support your candidacy, and also I would like to apply for the job of fashion police.

Alex Dreamz said...

You know, in a way that guy is doing his part to change the world....
As long as he's wearing that shirt, there's no danger of contaminating the gene pool (his daughter didn't inherit any of his genes, it was immaculate conception - so no worries on that point!)

WV: ancespej -- I'm sure it has something to do with this guy's ancestry, but my fingers can't force themselves to type it

Polly said...

Bravo! I will vote for you AND volunteer with your fashion police!

(I used to work in a children's museum, and while I don't recall seeing anything quite as bad as that, people definitely wore T shirts that I thought were pretty inappropriate.)

jimbo26 said...

You've got my vote ( I live in the UK ) .

Watercolor said...

omg. I think the leeches idea is awesome!!!

Anonymous said...

I will vote for you Grumpy, but only if Nurse K is your running mate.

Michelle said...

I'm curious...Did anyone say anything to him about it? Perhaps the host loaned him a different shirt to wear?

Anonymous said...

Chauvinistic asshole. Tell him maybe that would be his daughter´s job one day.

*face palm*

Silliyak said...

You got my vote, Outre for VP!

Anonymous said...

I second Michelle's question, did anyone say anything to the jerk?

Moose said...

OH my head. Half of me wonders what (or even if) that jerk was thinking. The other half just doesn't want to know.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Michelle- not that I'm aware of.

Mrs. Grumpy talked me out of it, on the grounds that I am neither his wife or mother, and that doing so would cause more problems at his daughter's party than it was worth.

Anonymous said...

Well, one could always attach a vacuum cleaner to it. Maybe to clean it off, ya know? I doubt he'd wear the shirt after that. Might show up in Nurse K's ER tho.

Anonymous said...

Photos from the birthday party just happen to show up at the local constabulary, with a note that says I am worried about this man.

C said...

eewwww. I would have taken my child home immediately and not gone back....ever. Seriously, if the guy thinks that is OK for little girls, he has a problem and let us not discover how extensive the problem is. Creepy. Possible that if I went there for an adult party, I would have left too. Better to leave than to wind up experiencing more of his...er...sense of humor. If that is what it is.

Anonymous said...

Grumpy, You should have found a way to say something to him, like you wanted to. Maybe something along the lines of "I might be conservative, which I know isn't your problem, but I though I could at least ask if you would change your shirt. There are young kids here and all, and I'd rather not have to explain blowjobs to my 9 year old yet." If he says no, then drop it, but at least you tried.

Navigating Northward said...

Oh my. Unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

Another volunteer for the fashion police here. I'll bring the rusty hacksaw blades.

Also, if I were (may all the gods and fishes forbid!) his wife, I'd start leaving signs around the house with arrows pointing: These dishes aren't going to wash themselves. Those socks and boxers aren't going to get themselves off the floor and into the laundry. That garage isn't going to clean itself.

And so on. And then I'd get a terrible case of chronic lockjaw.

a.generic doc said...

Not only is it tacky, but the odds are it probably doesn't get result he wants even from someone of an appropriate age.

Mal said...

I'm with anon at 8.05. And my kid would not be visiting that house again. Children don't need to be exposed to that sort of attitude.

You may not be this mans parent, but you are a parent, and if one of your kids was at that party (I'm assuming Marie) then you should have either spoken up, or removed them, and yourself. You have a responsibility to teach your children by example, that offensive misogynistic behaviour should not be accepted. Twenty years from now, when it's Maries boyfriend or husband that shows up wearing that shirt, what do you want her to do?

Anonymous said...

I doesn't sound like he's the kind of person who would listen to his mother or wife. Maybe only another man could get through to him.

tbunni said...

So why are there no "Ibee Grumpy for Prez 2012" stickers to be found? How can I show my support for you and my complete and utter distain for all other aspirants to the position of President of the United States? Get thee some stickers, pronto!

skidmartk said...

Hook him up with this: http://ambulancedriverfiles.com/2012/02/09/weiner-roast/ - WARNING-- very graphic NSFW pictures

If nothing else, it might get his attention.

stay safe.

Anonymous said...

You've got my vote. I like the leeches idea too.

Mockingbird said...

I'll vote for Grumpy! I don't want to know if that guy's junk is artisnal

Anonymous said...

I hope the party was at his ex-wife's home.

Anonymous said...

Betting he's gonna regret that shirt when the party pics are shared with the relatives :))

Mad Jack said...

Why is it that just when you decide there aren't going to be any more big surprises something like this happens. Truly, you lead an interesting life.

I don't know what I would have done. Leaving comes to mind, but only after I'd made my objections to the offensive tee shirt known to everyone in the room. But then, Main Lady would likely forbid me to do anything rash.

Anonymous said...

WHERE do you live?!?! Seriously...I wanna stay as far away as possible. You are a magnet for the strange and often offensive!

RehabRN said...

Grumpy:

Yes, you and Nurse K could be the candidates on the No BS platform.

All I have to say re: the shirt...WTF?

The wienie roast pics are a cautionary tale. Friends don't let friends (inebriated ones at least) pee on electric fences.

You could end up with a burnt wienie!

WordyGirl said...

Please tell me you made him leave???

JSi said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

Classy, indeed.

Dr. Grumpy 2012!

Anonymous said...

I think he's a pedophile. Definitely doesn't know proper boundaries. Keep your daughter away from him and safe.

kdoglady said...

Stay tuned for: Law & Order: Special Fashion Victims Unit.

 
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