Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Wednesday afternoon rant

The buzzword that's driving me nuts right now is "artisanal".

Nothing is a plain anything anymore. Stores sell artisanal breads. Restaurants advertise artisanal ravioli and artisanal sandwiches. Coffee places are pushing new artisanal blends. The word is every-fucking-where.

It makes me want to produce some artisanal vomit.

That's all.

32 comments:

terri c said...

I believe this is the word that replaces "entrepreneurial" in the business-ish lexicon. In church lingo the word du jour is "missional." I have no idea what that means, either.

wv: barit, as in "grin and..."

Vellum said...

Sometimes it's not "artisanal."

Sometimes it's "organic."

Face, meet palm.

Anonymous said...

So... what you're saying is that you're a skilled manual laborer in the art of producing vomit..?

::snort::

Packer said...

All it means is that it is made with dirty hands in a non commercial kitchen where they let the cats roam free. Not a big deal.

DaddyBear said...

Artisanal - Hipster for "supposedly handmade and expensive".

Ben S said...

I can't stand the word ergonomic for the same reasons.

Jo said...

Now one has to ask what would differentiate artisanal vomit from other varieties of common spew. The ubiquitous carrots in the shape of stars perhaps? An added dash of organic corn? A splash of parsley? A heart carefully manicured in foamy bile?

Mmmm. Now that's done I'm off to have breakfast.

Julie said...

Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light,
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right.
It is the duty of the wealthy man,
To give a job to the artisan..

webhill said...

Can't remember if I showed you the pic of the menu we ate in during winter break. It listed sandwiches on "artesian" bread. Oy vey.

Anonymous said...

Soon, they will be advertising "artisanal bread in 3D!!!!!!"

Not House said...

@Jo

It's the fact you produced the vomit before it became mainstream

Anonymous said...

I once was given a bottle of artisan WATER. I kid you not! Just water. ARRGGH!

Anonymous said...

Vellum - right on. EVERYTHING is "Organic" these days. Mind you, organic is only meant for fruits and vegetables...

Moose said...

Wait, it's Wednesday?

Anonymous said...

Hmmm .... in spite of knowing what it's supposed to be (artisan-al), I keep seeing art-is-anal. With a nonsensical word, that's what tends to happen. I'm guessing that's not what they're going for.... ;-)

Ole Phat Stu said...

They forgot the hyphens in the middle of art-is-anal ;-)

Polly said...

Apparently the Artesians are still around!

The Merry said...

Yesterday, I listened to someone describe how he'd managed to "architect and design" a new software program. So I said to him, "to me, 'architect' and 'design' mean the same thing. What is the difference between the two, to you?"
And he looked at me as if I were a puppy-killer.
I don't mind people using two words that to me sound identical in meaning so long as they have significantly different meanings to the person using them. Or, in the case of artisanal, so long as they were using a word that they could actually define.

Nurse K said...

I just have to say that I clicked on Moose's photo and found out that was a spoon hanging there. I swear that with a cursory glance, it looks like an NG tube.

Anonymous said...

Art-iNsanal?

WF:forcul...forculately that word has not crossed the Atlantic to my part of the globe...yet

Mark In Mayenne said...

Artesian bread in 3D and HD! Love it!

We have a lot of artisans here in France, they even have ads on the TV about how the "artisanat" is there to help you in times of need.

Yeah right.

23 Skidoo said...

"Artesian" is a type of well where the water is under pressure due to the angle of the water table. It IS a type of water....supposedly of higher quality too which I suppose would make it artesianal artisian water....

You could add the words "hand crafted" fair trade sustainable etc.... all the greenie buzzwords that make people feel superior for buying overpriced products.

Sarah Glenn said...

Okay, so they're ADDING "-al" there, and taking them away from other words, like 'neurological'?

Nice to know there's conservation of mass in the English language...

23 Skidoo said...

For the record...
An artisan (from Italian: artigiano) is a skilled manual worker who makes items that may be functional or strictly decorative, including furniture, clothing, jewellery, household items, and tools. The term can also be used as an adjective to refer to the craft of hand making food products, such as bread, beverages and cheese.

Manufacture by hand and with hand tools imparts unique and individual qualities to artisanal products, in contrast to mass produced goods where every one is nearly identical. Artisans traditionally work in media such as stone, wood, ceramics, glass, common and precious metals, basketry, textiles, esparto grass, leather, fur, wax, paper, and flowers.


An artesian aquifer is a confined aquifer containing groundwater that will flow upward through a well, called an artesian well, without the need for pumping. Water may even reach the ground surface if the natural pressure is high enough, in which case the well is called a flowing artesian well.

I'd say both forms are "pumped up".

monica said...

I hate the word green. That's right, I said it. Also, I made some artisinal vomit yesterday. Want some? :)

CrownedwithVictory said...

AMEN, Dr Grumpy! Personally, my most hated buzzword of today is "epic." Close second is how "revolutionary" everything is now. PLease.

Julie said...

wonder how long it will take before we starting seeing "artisanal" round this part of the world?

Caya said...

I felt the same way when I used to see the word "simply" everywhere. "simply" soda, "simply" whatever. Grrrr *roll eyes* I'd generally refuse to buy a product (when I could) if it said "simply" on it.

Anonymous said...

That word irritates the heck out of me.

Art is anal.

There, now I like the word better as a phrase.

The Mother said...

As an artisanal bread baker, I am offended.

Or at least I would be, if I didn't have a dead oven and no time to make said artisanal bread.

Anonymous said...

My mother uses the word "artisan" when describing who made one of her little collectable miniatures. I HATE THAT DAMN WORD, I don't care that it's actually being used correctly, it's still fucking pretentious.

Anonymous said...

http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_721_17-obnoxious-figures-speech-translated_p17/

Thought you might like this

 
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