As you may remember, Dr. Pissy's dog and I had a conflict earlier this week. So today I put this letter on his desk...
Craven, Cretin, & Klutz, P.C.
Attorneys at Law
November 5, 2010
I. M. Pissy, M.D.
7291 N. Headache St.
Grumpyville, CX 34611
RE: Legal Action of Grumpy vs. Pissy
Dear Dr. Pissy,
Our firm has been retained by Dr. Grumpy in a legal action against you pursuant to the events of November 1, 2010.
On that date a canine possession of yours ("Fancy") pooped in Dr. Grumpy's exam room. This is in violation of federal regulations #1, #7, and #3,748,425-A, and caused Dr. Grumpy severe emotional denoberation, mental discombobulation, oderiferous substance exposure, fulminant social embarrassment, and a bunch of other polysyllabic words.
After careful consideration of legal options, including a $10 billion lawsuit for emotional damages, we've decided on the following out-of-court settlement:
"Blackdog", a 65 lbs. canine possession of Dr. Grumpy's of undetermined genetic nature (i.e. a "mutt"), shall be allowed into YOUR exam room to poop on the floor following lunch on November 10, 2010. Laxatives will be used to ensure the settlement is equitable.
If this settlement is acceptable to you, please have your attorney call their attorney who will then call our attorney who will then notify us, and we will make the necessary arrangements to transport Blackdog.
We hope this resolves the issue. Please contact us for any questions.
Oksana "Oksi" Kontin
Legal Assistant to Mr. Klutz.