Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Freak out!

Dr. Grumpy: "Your labs look okay, lipid levels are good, and..."

Mrs. Statin: "OH MY GOD! I HAVE LIPIDS IN MY BLOOD?!!!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Well, everyone does, and your levels are fine."

Mrs. Statin: "THAT'S HORRIBLE! I DON'T WANT ANY LIPIDS AT ALL!"

Dr. Grumpy: "But you need to understand that some levels are normal and..."

Mrs. Statin: "SO NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT IT'S 'NORMAL' FOR ME TO HAVE A STROKE OR HEART ATTACK? WHAT THE HELL?"

Dr. Grumpy: "That's not what I said, ma'am, lipids are..."

Mrs. Statin: "THIS IS INSANE! I KNOW WHAT LIPIDS DO! I'M AN INTELLIGENT PERSON! I WATCH TELEVISION! I DEMAND YOU GET RID OF MY LIPIDS IMMEDIATELY! THERE ARE MEDICATIONS, AREN'T THERE?"

Dr. Grumpy: "There are drugs that are used to lower lipids when needed, but your levels are already low and..."

Mrs. Statin: "YOU'RE DANGEROUS! I'M LEAVING! I'M GOING TO FIND A DOCTOR WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF ME!!!"


And she walked out.

38 comments:

Julie said...

um, well if it was me, i wouldn't mind her finding a different dr ....

Nuclear Fire said...

Sounds like someone needs to make a combination Paxil-Zocor pill.

apotential said...

What in the sam hill did that woman read about lipids, and in what magazine?

... That's right. I broke out the "sam hill" for this one.

Tassiegal said...

Thanks for providing my merriment for this evening!

The Mother said...

Try having a MIL whose HDLs are high thanks to years of near-anorexic dieting and four hours a day of tennis. Try explaining to said MIL that she does NOT need to watch the cholesterol in her diet. Go ahead. Give it a shot.

Maybe you'll get somewhere. Because I haven't.

Rachael said...

so you refer her to whichever colleague has been annoying you the most lately :)

GlassHospital said...

So true. So funny. So sad.

We have done a good job of communicating what's important to patients, haven't we?

This lipid thing has been a peeve of mine for a while. It inspired this post, if'n you'll forgive the linkage:

http://glasshospital.com/2010/05/16/cholesterol-validation-of-the-self/

-Dr. John

(still in Beijing and somehow able to get on Dr. Grumpy through a mysterious wormhole provided by a great American-style hotel)

Anonymous said...

OH NOOEEES! What will she do when she finds out that she has *gasp* SUGAR in her bloodstream as well???

I suggest a combination of diet and medications that will get her LDL and glucose levels both below 10 for a couple weeks. Then, she won't be complaining to anyone about anything!

Pattie, RN

me said...

Good riddance...

And I second Rachel's advice ~

Joleen said...

Wow. Some people should be banned from watching TV or using the internet as they clearly don't know how to process information.

ndenunz said...

As soon as she finds out there is iron in her blood she'll be wanting some chelation therapy.

Anonymous said...

That is what some in the UK refer to as "bat sh*t crazy", just so you know the cultural diagnosis for next time/ your referral letter.

Packer said...

Wait, are you saying having lipids are normal, I don't know, I think I will check some other humor blog to make sure.

Anonymous said...

Self-diagnosis via internet. Sometimes having a little knowledge is like knowing a little karate...you know just enough to get your butt kicked.

PharmacyJim

Dr. J said...

Dr. Grumpy, some days I think all the other doctors in your town are only sending you their 'special cases'!

Sparky Barksdale said...

If my doctor was Groucho Marx I would think he was dangerous too.

SBG23 said...

She's just a big fat lipidhead!

GunDiva said...

SBG23 - wouldn't that be "megalipocranium"? :)

Kat's Kats said...

Oh, this is SO a third column over, second row down diagnosis!

Claire said...

Cholesterol levels or 'happy damn lipids' and 'lousy damn lipids' as I've heard them described.

Anonymous said...

Hope you referred her to your least favorite ENT surgeon, as her listening skills are obviously impaired.

murgatr

Pharm. Tech. RDC'06

Anonymous said...

I am tempted to start marketing a Risperdal air freshener. Would you be interested in being a study site?

Mugdha said...

Partially educated people are probably even worse than totally ignorant people.

Anonymous said...

Anytime someone says "I am an intelligent person," they are not; it's just like saying "I have a really high pain tolerance." - No you don't.
-whitecap nurse

The Evil Receptionist said...

I think her concern over her lipid "problems" should be the least of her worries. Was this her initial consult visit?

WV--foohl: aka most of Dr G's patients.

the observer said...

She spoke in CAPITAL LETTERS?

I hate people whose voice and demeanor are stuck on CAP LOCK.

Good riddance.

Anonymous said...

"I'm an intelligent person! I watch television!"
Ummm, just about contradicted herself right there.

Kat's Kats said...

Risperdal air freshener? There are days I could use one of those in my kids' bathroom! heh.

whitecap nurse? Please don't forget the rule of exceptions. I've left offices and/or given bad reviews because of attitudes like that. Not to say that I don't understand where it comes from given that I've spent time in enough waiting rooms educating others, but still...

-an intelligent woman who hasn't had a pain-free day since 10/87 no matter the med mix (I'm keeping my fingers crossed, medicine improves minute by minute)

Anonymous said...

Heh heh, reminds me of the time my MIL arrived home from a visit to the doctor and announced proudly "I have NO blood pressure!"

clairesmum said...

Risperdal air freshener sounds like a good idea - would love to volunteer my work site as a trial site, too!

Anonymous said...

Oh, no you don't, Anonymous, the Haldo spray was my idea first! Risperdal is available every which way but up, and Haldol is mine!

Seriously, when we were monitoring caloric, additive content of TPNs for our cachectic anorexic patients in the late 80's we had to refer to the bottle of Intralipid as 'lipids' (not fats as we referred to them often affectionately), because the poor dear starved patients would yank their central lines.

Anonymous said...

borderline much?

Anonymous said...

@Anon 8:37 pm
Yeah, breakin' out the Vitamin H!
JO RPh

terri c said...

I think the silver lining is bigger than the cloud here (for you, Mary, and Annie). I doubt she'll let you refer her, so just warn ERP she'll be showing up soon...

Anonymous said...

I hope she finds a way to rid her self of all those lipid bilayers present in her body.

vicki said...

dr grumpy
what have you done to all the doctors in your town where they refer you all the idiots?
i think i would send some of these patients back with a diagnosis of "terminal stupidity"
thought you should have named her mrs. satan instead ... she is giving some of us good patients a bad name

Anonymous said...

ANON 513....LOL!


Of course, when a patient asks me if they "have a temperature" my smart-ass response is always "yes, EVERYONE has a temperature" !

Fever? Now THAT is a problem!


Pattie, RN

Anonymous said...

I am still rolling on the ground about the air freshener! Can you make mine with Ativan? With some lovely notes of jasmine?

 
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