DATELINE: LONDON, ENGLAND
An unidentified fellow, trying to save money by not paying his subway fare, attempted to jump the barrier at the Covent Garden Tube station.
His plan went horribly wrong when he somehow got his penis caught in the metal gate mid-leap.
Police officers and transportation workers were finally able to free his winkie, but not before he was filmed by bystanders.
Whatever money he was trying to save probably wasn't worth it.
DATELINE: MURMANSK, RUSSIA
A Russian man, who was "bored," stole a combat vehicle from a military tank-driving school and went for a ride.
During his outing he smashed a car, then lost control of the armored vehicle and crashed through the front of a grocery store. At that point he got out of the car, pilfered a bottle of wine, and ran away.
Police arrested him shortly afterwards, still carrying the bottle of wine.
DATELINE: TOTNES, ENGLAND
Local butcher Chris McCabe was trapped inside his store's walk-in freezer when wind blew the door shut behind him. Fortunately, the freezer had an emergency release safety button. Unfortunately, it had frozen solid and couldn't be moved.
Attempts to kick the button loose were unsuccessful.
Keeping a cool head, Mr. McCabe grabbed a frozen, 3 lbs. black pudding and used it to repeatedly smash the button until it loosened enough to allow him to open the door.
He told reporters that “black pudding saved my life, without a doubt.”
