Monday, January 8, 2018

January 2, 2018

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Mycelium: "Hi, I have to cancel my appointment for this afternoon. I'm having an emergency!"

Mary: "Okay, do you..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "We went to take our Christmas tree out, and discovered THERE WAS MOLD ON IT!"

Mary: "I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like to reschedule now or..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "You act like this is nothing! THIS IS MOLD! I already called 911, and the girl there had the nerve to tell me mold wasn't an emergency!"

Mary: "Why don't you call me back when..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "I put the tree outside, but the mold may already be taking over my house! Do you know the number for a HAZMAT emergency? I can't find one!"

Mary: "No, I..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "Then can you call 911 for me? I bet they'd take this a lot more seriously if the call came from a doctor's office."

Mary: "I can't..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "OH MY GOD MY DOG IS OVER BY THE TREE! FLUFFY GET IN HERE! I need to go to the vet now!"

The line went dead.

18 comments:

Astrolabe Silverwax said...

"It's too late! I'm calling in an air strike! Save yourselves while you can!"

Melchior, Caspar, and Balthazar said...

Wait, we were supposed to bring frankincense, myrrh, and GOLD?

Anonymous said...

With the introduction of biological weapons, we've just entered a dangerous new phase in the War on Christmas.

Officer Cynical said...

"Please hang up and dial 211 - not 911."

Old RPh said...

Hey Dr G,
When you take 2 weeks off, do your subscribers get a 45 cent refund?

Anonymous said...

I weep for this country.

bobbie said...

How about a New Years raise for Mary???

Anonymous said...

She better not check out her cheese drawer...

Anonymous said...

Your readers' comments never fail to amuse me. Such intelligent, witty humor. Well played, players!

Stacey Gordon said...

The delineation between Psych and Neuro can be rather nebulous at times and has changed over time. Much like the borders of Eastern European nations in the past 200 years or so.

Javahead said...

Have you ever wished, if you had a do-over, that you'd become an anesthesiologist instead? So that when you were on the job you could just put the crazies under and enjoy the quiet?

Mage said...

Thanks, I'm still laughing.

The Bus Driver said...

silent night holy night... compliments of haldol ativan and valium.... which clearly this woman needs...

Anonymous said...

This public service message has been brought to you by the National Plastic Christmas Tree Council.

danielle said...

http://zdoggmd.com/7-years/

Anonymous said...

Such a sheltered life. I wonder is she recently learned how to identify 'MOLD!!'.

Kaz at www.building-enclosure.com said...

Silent mold, wholly mold, all is calm, all is bright....

Packer said...

That aint mold, it is worse, it is Douglas Fir

 
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