Soup

Here in the frigid Midwestern winter, soup is always popular. Currently it's just Mrs. Grumpy and I, so it makes for an easy dinner. Heat up the soup, put out a baguette, and we're good.

Today I noticed our favorite brand of soup was on sale at a good price, but, as usual, you could only buy 6 cans per person.

We have this down to a science. We each have the store's app on our phone and clip the digital coupon. I go to the store with 2 re-usable bags, fill each one with 6 cans, and then check out twice, using a different phone number each time (which is what everyone else does, too).

I went over to the soup aisle. The only other person getting soup was some crone in a robe and slippers who looked like she'd escaped from the day room.

So I picked out 6 cans and set one bag in the cart, then started to fill the second bag. I'd put one can in it when...

The Crone: "You have 7 cans."

Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, yeah."

The Crone: "The limit is 6 cans."

Dr. Grumpy: "Am I not allowed to buy more?"

The Crone: "You can only get 6 on the sale price. You have 7. I can count, you know."

Dr. Grumpy: "Look, there is no limit to how many cans I can buy, just how many I can get at the lower price."

I turned away, picked out another can. The Crone kept glaring at me. I began to wonder where her orderly was.

The Crone: "I know what you're doing."

Dr. Grumpy: "I'm buying soup. Do you work here?"

The Crone: "No, but you don't fool me. I'm watching you. I know your type."

 

Seen in a chart

 

Thank you, Lee!

New Year's Day, 2025

"What matters most is how children feel about their uniqueness once they do begin to realize that they are different from everyone else. How each one of us comes to feel about our individual uniqueness has a strong influence on how we feel about everyone's uniqueness - whether we grow into adults who rejoice in the diversity of the world's people or into adults who fear and resent that diversity."

- Fred Rogers (1928-2003)

My reader's write

Dr. O is a psychiatrist, who says:

Occasionally patients make threats towards others. When that happens we're required to inform the individual in question.

In this case the patient was in the hospital, and had threatened pretty much his entire care team, including the surgeon who'd recently operated on him. So I had to call him, too.

Dr. Scalpel: "This is Dr. Scalpel, returning a  page."

Dr. O: "Hi, I'm the psychiatrist taking care of Mr. Haldol, who you saw last week. I just wanted to let you know he's been making statements about killing you."

Dr. Scalpel: "Oh, I signed off on him over the weekend, so he really isn't allowed to be doing that, if you could have psychiatry let him know."

Dr. O: "I am the psychiatrist, and I'm just calling to let you know he threatened you. Whether you signed off doesn't matter to him."

Dr. Scalpel: "Well, you'd think it should. Anyway, you should probably consult psychiatry to evaluate him, and let him know I signed off."

Dr. O: "Yes, that’s me. I'm the psychiatrist."

Dr. Scalpel: "He probably needs a psychiatric diagnosis."

Dr. O: "Yes, I'm addressing that."

Dr. Scalpel: "Yeah, that should happen, so consult psychiatry on him."

Dr. O: "I'm just informing you of what he said. Have a good day."

Dr. Scalpel: "Thanks, don't forget to consult psychiatry on him."

 

As of the time of this writing, me and the nurses are taking bets on whether Dr. Scalpel orders a consult for psychiatry.

The aunt did it

 

Seen in a chart