Monday, August 8, 2022

Mary's desk

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary"

Ms. Cricetinae: "Hi, um, can Dr. Grumpy work me up for fur, I mean hair, loss, and weight changes?"

Mary: "No, you'll need to call your family doctor for that."

Ms. Cricetinae: "Well they won't see me for it."

Mary: "Well, I don't know what to tell you there, but Dr. Grumpy doesn't..."

Ms. Cricetinae: "Okay, the truth is that it's my hamster, Tulip. He's been losing weight, and fur, and I think he needs his thyroid checked and other stuff, but I don't want to pay for a vet. Can't Dr. Grumpy just draw the labs and bill them under my name to my insurance and say they were for me?"

Mary: "No, we can't do that. It's fraud. And Dr. Grumpy doesn't see hamsters, or know much about them."

Ms. Cricetinae: "But what about Tulip?

Mary: "Take him to the vet."

Ms. Cricetinae: "Thanks for being totally useless."



Bedřich Fuzzybank said...

"Well, can you at least prescribe him some Viagra?"

bobbie said...

And doesn't she know that Dr. G is a YAK herder, not a hamster herder?!?!

Marie Q said...

Yak... Hamster... who cares - they all have fur (oops hair) don't they. Doesn't medical school equip you to treat them all? How hard can it be to just do a few tests?
Aye yai yai (ROFL)
I keep thinking back to the old adage that "Common sense is not that common!". But obviously (and unfortunately) respect for your specialist is not that common either.

Packer said...

Ok, now I know that the junior high school kids are really getting bored with their summer and are resorting to their old style phone pranks. Hi is your refrigerator running, well you better go chase it. Do you have Prince Albert in a can, let him out he can’t breathe. Because if this is real I read enough and I’m going off to live in Mongolia

Karen74 said...

You now you are going to be in trouble with the furries going to school and demanding the ability to use a litter box instead of the restroom assigned to their God given gender.

Anonymous said...

In situations like this, isn't the usual process to take him to the ER?

Anonymous said...

"Can you at least prescribe something for my father, so he stops smelling of elderberries?"

Anonymous said...

Was this that call you'd almost let go to voicemail at 4:31 PM after you'd just changed back into your shoes, finished dictation, and phoned your wife you were on your way?

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