Thursday, July 30, 2020

Social distancing

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mr. Zoom: "Hi, this is Mr. Zoom. My wife is a patient of Dr. Grumpy's. She's having all kinds of new neurological issues and needs a video appointment ASAP."

Mary: "Let me see... Your wife hasn't been here in over 3 years... You said she's having new problems?"

Mr. Zoom: "Yes! They just started a few days ago and..."

Mary: "I'm sorry, but after 3 years, and especially with her having new symptoms, she'll need to be seen in person."

Mr. Zoom: "Uh, there's a pandemic going on! It's not safe for us to leave our house!"

Mary puts him on hold, checks with me, I absolutely agree with her.

Mary: "I just double-checked with Dr. Grumpy. Because she's having new issues this really isn't something he's comfortable handling over the phone or on camera. He needs to be able to examine her in person, check reflexes, and all that other stuff he does, to get an idea of what's going on and what should be done. He wears a mask, and takes lots of precautions to minimize..."

Mr. Zoom: "This is criminal. It's unethical. Dr. Grumpy is needlessly endangering our lives by making us come to see him. We're both in our 80's and are a high risk group. He should be able to do this sort of thing over the phone. Can't he just order a bunch of tests and see what he finds?"

Mary: "He doesn't work that way, sir. You can certainly try to find another doctor to see her, or go to ER, or..."

Mr. Zoom: "No other doctor will be able to get her in before the weekend. She needs to be seen and have all the tests done before then."

Mary: "Why is this so urgent?"

Mr. Zoom: "We're flying to Miami on Friday night for a big family reunion."


Manda said...

Cognitive dissonance is getting such a good work out at the moment!!

Anonymous said...

That's a double facepalm there!

bobbie said...

Another raise for Mary, please!

jbt369 said...

Mr. Zoom: "We're flying to Miami on Friday night for a big family reunion."

Mary: (click)

Ok, that's why I'm not Mary.

gloriap said...

As a volunteer at our large airport I came across an elderly couple sitting on a bench. She requested I get them a wheelchair to take him to the plane because he wasn't feeling well. They were flying 4 hours for a wedding. I took one look and called the paramedics. He was having a heart attack.

jono said...

Likely the next family reunion will be much smaller.

Anonymous said...

"Once you get to Florida, please stay there"

Ms. Donna said...

Mary deserves a profit-sharing plan

Anonymous said...

It's a wake, and I plan for her to be the guest of honor. She's got her will made and everything. I want to make sure she can get on the plane, but I plan to stay home and stay safe. (By the way, I have a lab in my basement, so she could get the tests here.)

A. Marie said...

Sending another contribution to Mary's Liquor Fund. Nothing's too good for her.

Packer said...

Somehow I knew it would be Miami

Mountain Woman said...

Say he did "order a bunch of tests," wouldn't they have to go somewhere for those tests to be done? In a pandemic?

Shash said...

Wow, but even though I know humans are idiots, this covid thing takes us to a new low every day.

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