Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Day at the Races

Early last Friday morning Mr. Party, a heavy-drinking patient of Dr. Smith (an internist downstairs in my building) wasn't feeling well. He'd quit drinking 2 days before, and decided to go to his doctor's office and wait for it to open.

While standing in the hall, Mr. Party was passed by a drug rep (yes, this one) coming to bring breakfast to me and Pissy's office. She markets anti-seizure medications, and her company has been promoting a campaign to make its reps more aware of the special needs of epilepsy patients.

Anyway, just as she was walking by Mr. Party, he suddenly collapsed and had a generalized seizure, wetting himself and lacerating his forehead on the doorknob as he fell. She then showed her newfound awareness of the special needs of seizure patients by running screaming through the building yelling "Help! Someone call 911!" repeatedly. The whole time she had a cell phone in her hand (Richard Dreyfuss did something similar in "Down & Out in Beverly Hills" for those who remember the flick).

Her meeting with me forgotten, she ran out to her car and decided to, um, I'm really not sure. As she was getting into it she suddenly realized she had a phone in her hand and called 911 herself. She then sat there for 15 minutes, trying to work up the courage to go back and look for her sample case and the tray of bagels she'd dropped in the excitement.

In the meantime, Dr. Smith had arrived at work to be greeted by one of his patients lying unconscious in a pool of blood and urine in front of his office door. At about the same time the police, firemen, and paramedics all arrived. They'd been summoned by the somewhat nonspecific nature of people in the building calling 911 when they heard the rep yelling, but not knowing what was going on.

Mr. Party was admitted to the hospital and is suspected of having had an alcohol-withdrawal seizure.

Dr. Smith waited until they loaded Mr. Party into the ambulance, then called building maintenance to shampoo the carpet in front of his office.

The drug rep found her sample case and bagels, and rescheduled her meeting with Pissy and I to later in the morning. During it she mentioned that she's considering a career change.

11 comments:

Reds Kevin said...

Were the bagels okay?

Sanity Lost said...

Oh that poor dear

Anonymous said...

A situation where the Victorian idea of the brandy flask as first aid would actually be helpful.

Anonymous said...

Definitely needs a career change. Probably along with her underwear. As drug reps are often recruited from the lower depths of the pharmacy, nursing, and other allied health professions, I sincerely hope that a) she's not one; b)if she is, she doesn't go back to that one either; and c) she doesn't now use her background to enhance her application to medical school.

She'd probably do fine in telemarketing. Or anything not involving human contact.

Anonymous said...

I saw a young child have a long, grand mal seizure at a store this summer. First time I had ever seen anyone have a seizure. I was surprisingly calm during the episode and got the store staff to call 911 and kept looky loos away from the area while other family members attended to the child. Gave a few reassuring words to one of the relatives as the paramedics wheeled the child away, and gave her a long hug. Then the store employees asked me to fill out an incident report, which I calmly did. As soon as it was all over and I walked out of the store, I got shaky and nauseous and went to the fast food place next door to sit down. Took me at least an hour to feel like I could stand up again. I often think of that boy and hope that things turned out ok for him (I overheard one of the relatives telling the paramedics that he had never had a seizure before, so they had no explanation as to why he suddenly fell ill like that).

I hope to never, ever see something like that again.

OldRPh said...

Camp Shaking Pines?

I took me 3 months, but I finally got it.

Anonymous said...

And they told me I would feel so much better if I just quit drinking. . . .

Packer said...

anon @312, pharmacy reps are usually recruited because of their looks , looks and looks and the fact that they have looks. Drs. Are by their nature pretty nerdish studious lacking in social graces given their arduous program of study so the marketing geniuses know how to manipulate that by sending over attractive young women . I have been as diplomatically politically incorrect as I can. But next time you see a drug rep, you will no doubt see a pair of legs, atop a pair of heels , wrapped in a tight skirt that starts three inches above the knee.
They will be real legs.

Shash said...

Packer nailed it. Pharmacy sales is marketing and looks matter more than brains. I've worked on developing marketing materials with these folks and it could be described as seizure-inducing. That said, at least she has the grace to be embarrassed by her response. There is hope for her.

To Anon above: Congratulations, you're the kind of person I want in my corner. I tend to have the exact same responses which is what makes me good at my avocation - safety work at car & motorcycle races. I considered quitting the first time it happened to me, but I realized that I did do everything right, despite the delayed reaction, and that racers are going to race whether or not I'm there to help. I'm good at it, so I'm there to help.

Ms. Donna said...

Is Mr. Party OK? As for the rep, someone already noted that they are picked for looks and sales ability NOT a cool head in an emergency. Not part of sales training as far as I know. IDK if she should change careers; that is up to her. She DID call 911 (eventually,deduct major form and style points there.)

Hope is was a new plate of bagels, and the Diet Coke had time to unfizz.

Don said...

Many here must be familiar with, or at least have watched a few episodes of "Big Bang Theory" where one of the most lovable charters, Penny, in later years becomes a pharmaceutical rep. Remember that? Art imitating life as Penny is the PERFECT example of what Packer and others are talking about.

 
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