Thursday, October 4, 2018

Breaking news!

From around the globe, Dr. Grumpy's crack team of reporters bring you the stories that shape your world.


Yeimy, a married woman, and Jesus, who she'd been having a clandestine year-long affair with, decided to call Uber for a ride to a local motel they'd booked for a romantic 30 minute getaway. The helpful Uber app noted that their driver was on his way to transport them to the love nest.

Upon arriving, they piled into the back seat of his car, only to have all parties immediately realize that the driver was actually Yeimy's husband, Leonardo, who was moonlighting that night by driving for a friend.

All parties immediately exited the vehicle.

It's unknown how many stars the driver got.


A group of thieves stole $18,000 worth of industrial-use GPS tracking devices from a tech company.

Upon discovering the loss, the company remotely switched them on and saw the majority of the devices were in a warehouse, while 2 were still being driving around in cars. Police had arrested all involved and recovered the devices within 6 hours.

Police also noted the thieves had drunk a few beers they'd found during the robbery. One of them cut himself in process, leaving bloody fingerprints behind as additional evidence.


From the "A horse walks into a bar" department.


Anonymous said...

Oh my. A 30 minute "romantic" getaway? Are you sure that's not too long?

Anonymous said...

What's the big deal? People bring their dogs into restaurants in France all the time.

Packer said...

God does have a wicked sense of humor and prefers Lyft

Kavanaugh the gelding was a nasty drunk.

Anonymous said...

What do I think?
I think Packer is blinded by his/her/xis bias, that's what I think!

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