Mr. Garda: "Sure, hang on... Um, I can't find it."
Lady Garda: "JIM!!! Did you lose it again?"
Mr. Garda: "I guess I did... It must have fallen out at the restaurant last night."
Lady Garda: "For Pete's sake! This is the 5th insurance card you've lost this year! I'm tired of calling them to get you a new one!"
Mr. Garda: "I'm sorry..."
Lady Garda: "You're lucky I carry an extra around for you!" (hands card to Mary) "You're a freakin' policeman! Grumpyville trusts you to carry a loaded gun everywhere, and you can't even keep track of a damn insurance card!"
14 comments:
Dammit, I asked you not to use my real name!
The lady has a point.
That was no lady, that was my wife.
Dammit! Mary always get to have all the fun.
Did she really say "freaking" ?
I thought I was the only one to say that.
I used to share a house with a policeman. "They let YOU carry a loaded weapon?!" was a common refrain from my mouth.
It came after things like, managing to fall down the stairs at 3 am (and only breaking a wrist), using bare hands to grab a metal lid from the top of a pot that had been simmering for an hour, slicing a finger while chopping vegetables, etc. Person was a total klutz. It was almost hilarious.
"Drop it sucker! You're under arrest! Oh- um... now where did leave them bullets?"
"I keep misplacing them" sounds a lot better than "I give them to hookers without health insurance in exchange for sexual favors."
Maybe a neurologically based change in behavior? Tho living in a small town, I have known police officers who get to have the gun OR the bullets but not both at the same time!
She has my complete sympathy. Oye.
If this had been a man publicly humiliating his wife, everyone would have immediately realized how rude that display was. She could have just handed Mary the card without the spousal abuse. He was obviously embarrassed enough already.
Was he Irish, as garda síochána is Gaelic for "guardians of the peace"? (police).
Mr. Garda--Lyle Lovett fan, are we?
I was a cop for nine years before heading off to med school. Still one of my favorite jokes. "Damn, look at this! Someone should call (the cops, a doctor). Oh wait, I are one." Or "what an idiot, I'm sure glad you're not like a (surgeon, police officer). Oh wait."
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