Sunday, October 23, 2011

Weekend reruns

I have a nice young lady in my practice who, as far as I can tell, has only made one major mistake in life. She fell in love with, married, and had kids with Mr. Dumb. He later decided he'd rather be a crackhead, and dumped his family in favor of the excitement of living on the street and smoking crack.

So Miss Nicelady heroically soldiers on, dealing with single Mom stuff. She was awarded child support from Mr. Dumb. Unfortunately, this only gets withheld from his paycheck on the rare occasion he's actually working. So it amounts to $20-$30 once every few months, when he finds temporary work as a dishwasher.

So at her appointment today I asked her how things were going. She paused, and then began laughing.

2 months ago she suddenly began getting steady money from his child support withholding- $100 or so every 2 weeks. She was thrilled, and didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Until one night, when some guy she'd never heard of called to see why she was stealing HIS money!

Get this:

Mr. Dumb, trying to get crack money, sold his identity (Social Security Card, Driver's License, etc) to Mr. Dumber for $50.

Mr. Dumber, now hiding under Mr. Dumb's ID, went off and got a job.

And so, when Mr. Dumber began getting paychecks, his salary was withheld and sent to my patient.

Basically, Mr. Dumber paid $50 in order to have $200 a month withheld from his paychecks. How inconsiderate of Mr. Dumb not to have mentioned these minor details to his purchaser.

In addition, Mr. Dumber was also angry at my patient (like it's her fault) because he got pulled over one day, and discovered Mr. Dumb's license was suspended 2 years ago.

Miss Nicelady told me the best part of the whole thing was when Mr. Dumber told her he was going to call the police on her.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

We don't often get to see "What goes around, comes around" in action; but when we do...it is so sweet.

Solitary Diner said...

People are brilliant. This just restores my faith in humanity.

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

certainly that is the way to go, no ?~!

Anonymous said...

unbelievable,it's just what Mr Dumber deserves.What did he think he would get if he bought a crackheads ID?Let him call the cops and report what?"My stolen ID is causing me problems"?
I hope none of this causes MrsNicelady and trouble and she gets to keep the support money she already got.

clarissa said...

wow, thats just..wow...

Anonymous said...

I swear I could never have thought this up in a million years. I am sure that it's a heckuva lot better story than on any epic TV show.

Anonymous said...

....That's strangely beautiful.

Alex said...

it makes you wonder what Mr. Dumber did that makes buying a crackhead's identity was a good decision...

Especially if the guy was trying to get a job and all these other things

A Doc 2 Be said...

He is probably up for a Darwin award & thinks that's an honor!

Thatgirl said...

That is ridiculous! But she seems to have a good sense of humor about her situation/ex being a complete idiot.

Milla said...

What comes around goes around. Hope she will continue getting money from either one of Mr Dumb or Mr Dumber!

Not House said...

Bwahahahahaha. Amazing!

Anonymous said...

I hope he does call the police. I really do.

Rosie said...

I think this guy lives next door to me...and it also makes me think about reincarnation, ha, ha.

Steph said...

poor Ms. Nicelady! sounds like she's not going to get much more child support... maybe she should convince Mr. Dumber to pay her $1k to take Mr. Dumb's identity?

Packer said...

Caveat Emptor: Mr. Dumber.

God I hope I spelled that right, haven't had to use it since Law School.

Anonymous said...

Judge Judy would have a field day with Mr. Dumber.

Anonymous said...

*smacks forehead*

~Fran

Smartie Tech said...

I was like 24 when my loser dad finally paid my mom off...

arzt4empfaenger said...

This is beautiful.
I hope she didn't get any trouble from either Mr. Dumb(er)

Anonymous said...

Karma's a Bitch... It's like waiting for your cheatin' ex to show up multiple times at the Dr.'s office with STD's.

This post took it to a whole new level... She's my kind of nicelady single mom. :-)

Aim said...

Husband, the Children's Services social worker, is currently laughing maniacally at this story. It sounds like at least half of his clients. (one of whom has been found guilty of forgery about 500 times... because she used white-out to change details on checks. She still turns in various paperwork covered in white-out. It's been 20 years. Cause and effect are clearly broken.)

 
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