Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Mary's Desk

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Reverend Bully: "Yes, this is Reverend Bully, and I need to make an appointment."

Mary: "Okay, what's your insurance?"

Reverend Bully: "Major Illness HMO."

Mary: "Okay, we'll need a referral from your internist, but let me schedule you... We can see you on Friday, at 11:00."

Reverend Bully: "I need to be worked in today."

Mary: "Okay... we don't have anything today. Did your internist speak to Dr. Grumpy about this?"

Reverend Bully: "No, but God told me I needed to be worked in today."

Mary: "All right, but..."

Reverend Bully: "This is God referring me! You can't say no!"

Mary: "Okay, then have God either fax us a referral or talk to Dr. Grumpy personally."

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wanna be like Mary when I grow up :)

ER's Mom said...

Mary is awesome.

So did you work him in? ;)

Solitary Diner said...

Reverend Bully should come to my hospital, where "getting worked in" means seeing within two weeks. A last-minute same week appointment is unheard of!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I'd have worked him in if the referral source had contacted me, but she didn't.

Packer said...

Nobody stand too close to Mary today.

These people amaze, they put a stupid grin on my face every single day.

Diana said...

I love Mary.

MW said...

For.

The.

WIN.

Moose said...

Mary rules the universe.

Now I am wondering if God has a fax machine, or is he an old-skool luddite?

thethingspatientssay said...

God emails me, but he mostly forwards funny cat pictures and the like.

Anonymous said...

@Moose - God is a technogeek. He can do wireless, machineless messages if necessary. ;-)

Bob@thenest said...

So, could you just hook up a feed directly from the phone to a streaming source? It would be a subscription worth paying for!

Kim said...

My family is not a religious family...we are very, very secular. One day our doorbell rang on a Sunday morning, about 45 minutes before a local church was about to be begin. It was the pastor of the church (mind you, he has no education in this stuff, he just decided to rent space in a public building and say it was his church) and he wanted us to know that God hold told him that he was to invite us to church that day and he really hoped we'd go. Yeah. We smiled and politely told him we had other plans. The next week he stopped by because God had told him to bring us some bread. The week after that he called because God told him to ask us for money so he could go on a mission trip. The next week God told him the ask us for a donation so he could buy some land and a building for his church. His number is in my phone's address book so I won't answer it if he calls and I no longer answer my door on Sunday mornings without first creeping to a window to see who it is!

ERP said...

Let me guess, he's possessed or something that an EMG will cure?

Anonymous said...

I love Mary.

Anonymous said...

I guess you don't learn that is She in Yak herder school.


And She did speak to me (so I need the good Dr. or one of his Psy friends) and She is amused.

Frantic Pharmacist said...

If you get that referral on a stone tablet, be sure to post us a picture!

dr lasermed said...

I love Mary.

My receptionist is taking lessons.

Did the fax go off?

Anonymous said...

I love Mary, and I love Doctor Grumpy for knowing that deity in question is a "she".

Anonymous said...

People like that give God a bad name...

Vicki said...

Thank you, Dr. Grumpy, for giving me a smile! I was in tears over family problems when I got my email from you today, and your humor has dried up my tears!

woolywoman said...

i heart
mary

Leslie said...

I had a patient once tell me that something bad was going to happen to someone who had wronged him. I jumped in and said, "I want to make sure you know that if you tell me you are going to hurt this guy, I need to call the police." He said, "It's not me." I said, "If you tell me a friend will hurt him, I need to call the police." He pointed up and said, "GOD is going to punish him!" I decided the state police had no jurisdiction over God.

cliffintokyo said...

I am on the edge of my seat with excitement waiting to see your post about the referral call from Her!

Street Philosopher said...

Sorry...don't post that last comment. Fu** Mary is awesome. Holy moly, what a superb hire.

Anonymous said...

Mary is the bomb...reminds me of Radar on MASH combined with Hot Lips "My guts aren't here for you to love" Hoolihan.

Anonymous said...

If you ever piss Mary off or if she quits, you will be sunk. Your zoo of a practice needs Mary to ride herd on them.

terri c said...

You and Mary are wonderful! Did that referral come through yet?

Anonymous said...

'I'm sorry, but we've already worked in patients for Zeus, Thor, Mithras, Ra and Shiva. We simply can't work in any more.'

Anonymous said...

so did you get to talk to GOD doc?!

Anonymous said...

Price-----less
score- Mary 1
bully 0

Anonymous said...

I say again; Mary deserves a raise, or champagne, or something nice.
How the hell did you find someone that good?

 
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