Sunday, October 9, 2011
Attention patients
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Leaving the message "Oh my God! Are you fucking kidding me?!!!" On my voicemail at 8:59 p.m., with no other information, will not get you a call back.
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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October
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16 comments:
Until I read your blog, I would have thought people hardly ever drunk dialed their physicians. Obviously it happens all the time, it seems.
why not??
sounds like a call from the $2.99 betta after you changed the water :p
After reading your blog, I realize I am an probably considered an excellent patient.
Obviously upset about your discontinuing the gas services at your office.
Maybe he/she is upset that they didn't had the chance to talk to the sexy, nerdy neurologist.
The patients you describe can almost not be believed sometimes, Doc. Amazing that they can function in real life.
Happens a lot in the pharmacy, when people cannot for the life of them figure out how to listen to prompts and push 1 or 0 on the phone and end up in the voice mail for new scripts and leave all kind of idiotic remarks. Our favorite one was "GO TO HELL!", which we saved and replayed on speaker quite often. The "F-word" is quite popular or listening to breathing for a bit and then 'CRAP! .........'. Needless to say, Dr Grumpy you are right, we do not call them back, sometimes even if they manage to leave their name in the middle of swears.
What? Why not? UR SO unreasonable!
He was calling to tell you your yaks had broken out, and was shocked to learn about your alter ego...
I agree with anonymous. it happens all the time in the pharmacy by people who either dont realize or dont care that they are actually being recorded. Sometimes they just keep saying "hello,,is anybody there?" as if somebody is going to pick up the phone at 1 am ( yes our messages are date stamped). Sometimes we get something like "F*CK! they are closed????...click" Usually people think the phone message is somehow linked to something thyey punched in.." Please call me..I have a question about the refill I just ordered". um ok...which one of the 50 on the queue are you?
I gotta tell ya... I came pretty close to leaving a similar message on a voicemail just the other day... The message service kept randomly stopping in the middle of me leaving the message, and then asking me if I wanted to keep recording from where I left off or record a new one. I ended up not leaving one at all because at that point it would have just been me swearing about the message service.
I think the drunk-dialing explanation may be right; either that or Mary was asked for her phone number by an obnoxious patient and gave your number instead.
At least did you get a laugh? they didnt tell you to fuck off now, did they?
From personal experience, people drunk dial the ED all the time. I know someone who drunk-dialed their parole officer, which is probably worse.
Well, you do have neuro-compromised pts.
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