Cephalopoda

Seen in a chart:

 

Thank you, Mike!

Saturday morning voicemail

“Hi, I keep calling and getting a message that your office is closed, and am kind of confused because on Friday the message said it was open. Can someone please call me back and let me know if you’re closed or open?”

Fun with Google

My 10:30 came in because when she hears running water she has to pee, and she read online that this means she has a brain tumor.

Air time

Last week, for less-than-relaxing reasons, I had to do quite a bit of flying. So I read a lot of P.G. Wodehouse, which is my eternal go-to for travel reading, no matter how many times I've read it before.

On one flight we ran into a fair amount of turbulence and the pilot ordered everyone, including the flight attendants, to strap in, put all tray tables upright and locked, etc.

As we bounced around at 35,000 feet one of the flight attendants got on the microphone and said "Folks, please do not press your call button unless it is an emergency, as movement around the cabin is restricted at this time."

As soon as he said that the guy next to me in the window seat, IMMEDIATELY reached up and pressed his call button (no really, he did. Like he'd been waiting the whole flight for that moment).

Flight attendant unbuckles himself, runs back, and says "are you okay, sir?"

Guy next to me points out the window and says "What are those mountains over there called? They're really beautiful."

Brief pause

The flight attendant says "I have no idea, sir," then turns around and walks back to his seat.

As he's heading back the guy the next to me says "well, can you ask the captain? They're really beautiful."

Back after a few weeks

So going to just put up some random pics you guys sent in, and stuff I saw on my trip.

 This fan mail was posted at a local burger place:

 

From the "when I was your age" file is a pic of a 3 gigabyte external hard drive seen at a thrift store, I assume intended for a museum.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next, in the "gross overuse of adjectives" category is this margarita sign, which needs to have "artisanal" added to really bring it home.

 

Then there's this Albert DeSalvo inspired car decal:

 

And this question on a survey to make sure you're paying attention:

Next!

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, thank you for coming in today. I'm Dr. Grumpy. Have a seat."

Mr. Leon: "Hello."

Dr. Grumpy: "Let me get some notes ready... Okay, are you right or left handed?"

Mr. Leon: "Excuse me?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Are you right or left handed?"

Pause

Mr. Leon: "What kind of woke bullshit is that? Seriously, I am so sick of you people."

He got up and left