Phone calls

I'm with a patient when Mary knocks on the door. My call partner, Dr. Nerve, is on the phone for me.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Grumpy, what's up?"

Dr. Nerve: "Hi, do you know that new guy, the one who's doing locum tenens for Dr. Outforbacksurgery?"

Dr. Grumpy: "I've heard the name, but don't know much else. It's not like we've ever shared call with that practice."

Dr. Nerve: "Are we covering his hospital patients this weekend?"

Dr. Grumpy: "I'm pretty sure he doesn't even have hospital privileges, but let me check the system... no he doesn't have any privileges."

Dr. Nerve: "I know he doesn't have privileges. I'd already checked."

Dr. Grumpy: "Then there's no way he's going to have patients, either. So why are you asking me if we'd be covering for him?"

Dr. Nerve: "I'm trying to be thorough."

Marketing

To try and stay afloat busy during the pandemic, I've been doing more market research surveys. As usual, these have some interesting questions.


This example is from the "I failed geography" department:

Next up is this one, apparently hoping that I'm a good guesser:

This one, I can only assume, was written by a person practicing the Jedi mind-trick:

The next question apparently wanted to see how much I could nitpick, or be indecisive, or have a fetish for capitalization:

And last was this, from the "so what happens if I do?" department:

 

For the record, nothing happened. It was actually kind of disappointing.

Internet

For all of its pros and cons, this, to me, is the best part of the internet.

It brings me stuff it had never occurred to me was out there, and that I'd never have heard otherwise.







Thank you, SMOD!

My readers write

My colleague, Dr. O, writes:


"I’m in the breakfast line at the hospital cafeteria, because today is the one day of the week they offer the decent ham and cheese scramble. But the line is being held up by this person who is leaning over the sneeze guard, mask open, near the pre-made croissants (which thankfully are wrapped). He’s complaining to the staff.

What COULD be the problem? Did he find a hair in something? Was something raw? Was he concerned that his sausage came from a Tyson plant??

Fuck no. This guy was complaining that there was a typo on the menu. And spent ten minutes pointing this out. Being a psychiatrist I was terrified this was going to be a consult before I could have my morning Coke."

Seen in charts