Religion 101

Dr. Grumpy: "Did you have any other questions?"

Ms. Shiny: "Yes," (she opens her briefcase) "Can I offer you a copy of the Bible?"

Dr.. Grumpy: "Uh, no thank you."

Ms. Shiny: "I have both old and new testament, or both?"

Dr. Grumpy: "That's okay, let me bring you up front."

Ms. Shiny: "How about a copy of The Watchtower?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, no."

Ms. Shiny: "How about a Quran? I have one in here, somewhere."

Dr. Grumpy: "No."

Ms. Shiny: "Um, let me see, Book of Mormon?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No, thank you. My next patient is waiting, so..."

Ms. Shiny: "Bhagavad Gita?"

AUGHHHH!!!!! Cooties!

As occasionally happens, a drug rep called to see if the staff wanted anything from Local Coffee. Since they aren't above free caffeine (Dr. Pissy and I certainly aren't) they gave her an order list.

Mary ordered me my usual extra-tall triple-caffeine espresso mocha cortado cappuccino grande queso fundido.

So Ms. Pharma shows up. Pissy and I went up and gave her a few minutes of our attention about her miracle drug to thank her for keeping the staff awake. When she was done she handed us our drinks. I began sipping mine as I headed back to my office.

When I set it on my desk I realized her lipstick was on the straw.

Realization

You know you've been in practice too long when you hear people talking about their "Insta" accounts and assume they mean InstaMed.

Quote of the day

From a retired internist:

“I just want to make sure I’m not going to shit, you know. I mean, my wife is fucked-up with all kinds of shit, and some of my friends are pretty fucked-up, too, and I'm sure all my old patients are either fucked-up or dead by now, and I’ll be a son of bitch if I’m going to get fucked up more than is normal for being fucked-up at my age so I just want you to check out all my neuro shit and that kind of stuff and make sure I’m not too fucked-up for 87."