Doctor Grumpy in the House

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a call." Debbie: "Hi, it's Debbie, Dr. Nerve's office manager. Are you goi...

Dr. Grumpy: "What can I do for you?" Mr. Bedsheet: "My wife says I kick in my sleep." Lady Bedsheet: "He does! Abou...

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary" Ms. Cricetinae: "Hi, um, can Dr. Grumpy work me up for fur, I mean hair, loss, ...

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a call." Mrs. Cartography: "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you on a weekend, but I...

Going through some old emails over the weekend, I found this one to my office staff. I wrote it roughly 10 years ago, during a family trip t...

 Seen in a chart:

Pissy and I are talking to a drug rep. "So, doctors, this nasal spray contains batsonshazam, that can be used emergently to stop a seiz...

So today, me, and pretty much every doctor, veterinarian, nurse practitioner, and pharmacist in the country got this email: Apparently the f...

I take my 11:30 patient back to my office. Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, Don, have a seat. How are you doing?" Mr. Epazil: "Sorry if I...

Me, Dr. Pissy, and our combined office staffs are having lunch with a drug rep.   Ms. Pharma: “That covers all the new info about Nomoshaki...

"I was in the ER last weekend for a seizure. They said my Kepdepatrol level was 4. Or maybe it was 8, actually, it could have been 14, ...

 Here's this one, showing the hazards of cut & paste:   Next we have this bit of bullshit, which was, sadly, the entirety of the cha...

And a few weekends ago, due to a computer glitch, every one of them had an inbox that looked like this:

Message left at  6:55 a.m. "Hi, thith ith Mike Thmith. I haf to canthel my appointment wif Dr. Grumpy for thith morning. I wath in a ba...