Monday, August 22, 2022

Undercover Angel

Dr. Grumpy: "What can I do for you?"

Mr. Bedsheet: "My wife says I kick in my sleep."

Lady Bedsheet: "He does! About an hour after he dozes off his legs start thrashing around, and it keeps me up."

Dr. Grumpy: "Do they..."

Lady Bedsheet: "Actually, I took a video of him doing it last night. Would that help?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Sure, why don't you put it on and I'll have a look."

Lady Bedsheet: "Let me get my phone." (rummages in her purse)

Mr. Bedsheet: "Doc, do you mind if I come around to that side of your desk? I want to see what it looks like myself."

Dr. Grumpy: "That's fine, why don't you stand right there." (I took a swig of Diet Coke)

Lady Bedsheet: "Okay, this woke me up just after midnight last night, you can see them kicking here..."

(I suddenly tried desperately not to blow Diet Coke all over her phone)

Mr. Bedsheet: "WHAT THE FUCK, HARRIET? WHY IS THAT IN THERE?"

Lady Bedsheet: "What was I supposed to do? You always sleep in the buff."

(I managed - barely - to get the Diet Coke down) 

Mr. Bedsheet: "YOU COULDN'T HAVE TAKEN IT FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE?!!!"

Lady Bedsheet: "A different angle? Who am I, Spielberg?"

Mr. Bedsheet: "WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT A SHEET OVER MY CROTCH OR SOMETHING?"

Lady Bedsheet: "Look, Dr. Grumpy is a doctor. I'm sure he looks at schlongs all day in his job."

Mr. Bedsheet: "He's a brain doctor! They don't look at schlongs!"

Lady Bedsheet: "Dr. Grumpy, is this true? Do brain doctors look at schlongs at work or don't they?"

Dr. Grumpy: (desperately trying to regain control of the appointment) "Um, how many nights a week does this happen?"

Mr. Bedsheet: "What? That she films my schlong? Apparently at least once."

Lady Bedsheet: "Harold, can you stop saying 'schlong'? I'm sure the doctor would prefer a more medical term."

Mr. Bedsheet: "I think he'd prefer you go sit in the waiting room."

Lady Bedsheet: "Fine. Dr. Grumpy, did you see enough of the video to understand what's going on?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Most definitely."


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21 comments:

  1. Dr. SeussAugust 22, 2022 at 4:43 AM

    If you're on your back and you kick and a chick makes a flick with your dick and your sack, it's called a dick sack kick back chick flick.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 22, 2022 at 5:00 AM

    Paranormal Activity: The Unrated Version

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousAugust 22, 2022 at 5:02 AM

    "Sorry, that's the wrong video. The one with you in it is this one."

    ReplyDelete
  4. juvatAugust 22, 2022 at 8:25 AM

    Oh, now, THAT was funny. Great start to the week. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  5. bobbieAugust 22, 2022 at 1:25 PM

    O. M. G.!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousAugust 22, 2022 at 2:42 PM

    So just tie one end of a string to his toe, and the other end to his schlong, and that way he'll wake himself up whenever he starts kicking.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousAugust 22, 2022 at 2:46 PM

    Isn't that where most guys' brains are located?

    ReplyDelete
  8. A. MarieAugust 22, 2022 at 4:34 PM

    Sorry I can't comment intelligently. Too limp with laughter (given the subject matter, "limp" is probably the right word) at both Dr. G's post and most of the comments.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mad JackAugust 22, 2022 at 4:38 PM

    Ha!
    Ha!Ha!
    Ha!Ha!Ha!

    I love it. If I knew how much fun it was being a doctor, I'd have stayed in school.

    ReplyDelete
  10. PackerAugust 23, 2022 at 8:44 AM

    Cell phones everywhere, be careful

    ReplyDelete
  11. PackerAugust 23, 2022 at 9:42 AM

    I was not aware of restless schlock syndrome. The things you learn from reading Grumpy

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousAugust 25, 2022 at 12:43 AM

    Haven't laughed this much since that BBC interview video had gone viral back in 2017, where the political science professor in South Korea was doing a live BBC interview on TV, when his very young daughter and infant son entered their Dad's office and his wife had to grab both kids and get them out of the room. That was epic and this is killer funny.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousAugust 25, 2022 at 3:23 AM

    Face palm,,,, yep, just knew there was a reason I didn't specialize in urology.

    ReplyDelete
  14. LenaAugust 26, 2022 at 4:38 PM

    That is absolutely hilarious! Amazing you kept a straight face.
    "what the f harriet" LOL

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousAugust 27, 2022 at 8:12 AM

    Why do men have legs? So their brains don't drag on the ground.

    ReplyDelete
  16. BedÅ™ich FuzzybankAugust 27, 2022 at 5:35 PM

    "But did you have to add the 'talking potato' Snapchat filter?"

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousAugust 29, 2022 at 10:37 PM

    Omg, I am laughing so hard I literally have tears running down my face right now!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. evodevoSeptember 4, 2022 at 3:48 PM

    OMG that's hilarious...
    On another note, MY husband does the same thing (at least he sleeps in underwear lol). I've seen on the innertubes that it's called PLMD? And he definitely DOES wake me up...

    ReplyDelete
  19. ASM826September 5, 2022 at 8:47 PM

    I am glad I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I read that.

    ReplyDelete
  20. anonymostlyMarch 29, 2023 at 10:26 PM

    I'm going to call it a night...Can't stop laughing -

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?