Doctor Grumpy in the House

Hopkinsville, Kentucky is a small town in the western part of the state. There's a farm on the outskirts of town. And on August 21, 1955...

Robbing a bank takes a lot of things. This apparently includes pants with button-able pockets. Because you REALLY don't want to accident...

Mrs. Grumpy: "Ibee, can you get mmmph (inaudible)?" Dr. Grumpy: "I can't hear you!" Frank: "Aye, aye, captain!...

I'd like to thank my reader Webhill for sending this in. She says it's on her way to work. What we have here is a cleaners/tailor sh...

Mrs. Dizzy: "My right ear is all clogged. I can barely hear. I think the fallopian tube there is plugged up."

Dr. Grumpy, for the record, is not a big fan of McDonald's. Nothing personal, I'm just not a fast food person. Like all parents, I e...

You needed an urgent appointment because you had a seizure this morning. We got you in 90 minutes after you called. You demanded I do someth...

Annie was standing in the hallway. I wasn't sure if she was laughing, or crying, or both. I asked her what was up. One of my patients h...

Dr. Grumpy: "So we'll start you on Aspirin. Dr. Internist is going to work on bringing down your blood pressure and controlling yo...

Last week Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary." Mrs. Freek: "Yeah, this is Ima Freek, I need to make a follow-up ap...

Dude, I'm sorry if you're having trouble with your dealer, and he sold you some bad shit that he lied about being marijuana. It'...

(cell phone rings, it's the kids' school) Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?" Miss Hourlywage: "Yeah, I'm calling about your son...

I would like to mark the passing of my political idol, Paul the Octopus, who died this morning in Germany. For those of you who didn't r...

Rikki Drugrep: "Doctors, Nopain is the only non-sedating, non-effective, treatment for these patients." (Dr. Pissy starts snickeri...