(cell phone rings, it's the kids' school)
Dr. Grumpy: "Hello?"
Miss Hourlywage: "Yeah, I'm calling about your son, Frank."
Dr. Grumpy: "Yes?"
Miss Hourlywage: "I'm writing him up for saying a bad word."
Dr. Grumpy: "Really? What did he say?"
Miss Hourlywage: "I don't know."
Dr. Grumpy: "You're writing him up for saying something, and you don't know what he said?"
Miss Hourlywage: "Yeah."
Dr. Grumpy: "Can I talk to someone who heard what he said?"
Miss Hourlywage: "Nobody heard what he said. He was in the room by himself when it happened."
Dr. Grumpy: "So how do you know he said something bad?"
Miss Hourlywage: "The other girl who works here told me."
Dr. Grumpy: "Can I talk to her?"
Miss Hourlywage: "She's off today, but she told me."
Dr. Grumpy: "When did this happen?"
Miss Hourlywage: "This morning."
Dr. Grumpy: "So if she's off today, how does she know what he said this morning, if he was in the room alone anyway?"
Miss Hourlywage: "Look, I'm just doing my job."
Welcome to the Orwellian world of school administration.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking more Franz Kafka, like in "The Trial".
ReplyDeleteI bet he said "hell". I wonder where he gets it from.
ReplyDeleteI really want to hear frank's side of the story now....
ReplyDeleteOK. It took me a few minutes to figure out that Frank said the bad word yesterday, when the girl who is not in today was in. But she left yesterday without writing up Frank for saying the bad word yesterday (when he said it, not that "yesterday" is, as far as I know, a bad word), and phoned it in today. You'll get the official notice tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteEither that or somebody has been listening to too much Abbot & Costello. "Heyyyyyy, Aaaabbbottttt! You got a ball club?"
stay safe.
??????
ReplyDeleteSomething to look forward if we ever have kids, I guess.
If a kid says a bad word, alone in a room.... it doesn't make sound...
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what the problem is here -- I think that what our education system needs is an influx of teachers with just such finely-honed psychic abilities, particularly those of telepathy.
ReplyDelete(checks calendar) 1984!?
Ugh. Fuss over swearing always bugs me...I'd rather my daughter drop the F bomb 20 times a day than call another girl "fat". It's just a word. And very versitile as well.
ReplyDeleteY' know, it's possible Frank learned a medical term from you that the administration didn't understand . . . and all too often, what's "not understood" is interpreted as "bad". I know my kids occasionally used to use words that their teachers had to look up. Nice to know their parents actually DID rub off on them! LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm a little more worried about "the other girl", who was so concerned about a kid saying a bad word to himself alone in a room that she phoned in the report on her day off.
ReplyDeleteWV is bokin. I wonder if that is what Frank said.
Anonymous at 11:13 AM, Yeah. Imagine a school kid talking about her uvula.
ReplyDeleteLuckily the HS that my boys goes to does not seem to call every time a bad word gets used, heard or otherwise. Because I'm pretty sure my phone wouldn't stop ringing.
ReplyDeleteSo, just exactly what is the job description of Ms. Hourlywage, I mean, what the 'ell was she doin'?
ReplyDeleteHMM! I would call and speak to the Principal especially if he was punished (I am saying this as a Veteran Teacher)?
ReplyDeleteDoes Mrs. Dr. School Nurse Grumpy work in the District? Is so, what can she find out?
And, they called you, on your cell phone, during the business day, for a NON EMEGENCY?
Perhaps he's a ventriloquist and threw the word at her house...I'm just saying, if she's off today and he was in the room alone
ReplyDeleteBut doing anything about bullying is too difficult according to most school administrators.
ReplyDeleteThis is barking insane.
When my son was 5 his teacher took his color because he told her he fell off the swing and hurt his butt. She wanted an apology, and got really mad when I asked her what she preferred him to call it. She wouldn't give me an answer so I told him to just call it his ass and walked out the door.
ReplyDeleteWow, way to overreact, school. He wasn't starting fires in the trash cans. Sheesh. When my oldest son was three, something fell in the classroom and he loudly proclaimed "OH SHIT!" When his teacher told me about it, I wanted to crawl under a rock and die, but she laughed and said she was really impressed he used it an appropriate context. Granted, not all teachers would be so forgiving, but still. Fortunately, I've now taught him to curse using other words, mostly stolen from SpongeBob. He shouts "Tartar Sauce!" quite a bit.
ReplyDelete@Olivia - My son tried out ain't a few weeks ago. The way I reacted you would have thought he had told me to go F my mother. Also, as a fat girl myself, good on you for teaching your daughter not to knock other women's bodies! :)
WTF?
ReplyDeleteAt least she didn't call at 1am.
ReplyDeleteIf a bad word is said and the person who calls you to tell you about it wasn't there to hear it, was the bad word really said, or was the word said even a "bad" word?
ReplyDeletemany in the education system think they are god's gift to future generations. i didn't take much notice of them when i was at school and still dont 50 years on. from this story they still seem puffed up with their own importance.
ReplyDeleteask her if she needs a consult, sounds like one of your lunies! Auditory disturbances, cognitive impairment?!
ReplyDeletejoseph heller is another who might have written this.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but if you think Heller wrote it, then he didn't, so it's a catch-22.
ReplyDeleteDear god---logic, much?! We will wait on pins and needles for the resolution.
ReplyDeleteAnd give Frank a hug since this makes no sense. CP
Some family friends were contacted by their grade 1 son's teacher to tell them he had been involved in an altercation with another child.
ReplyDeleteThey not unreasonably asked what happened and were told in no uncertain terms that it was "none of their business" and that the school was unable to discuss the matter with them any further as to do so would impinge on the other child involved's privacy!
At least you weren't dragged in from work (at 50 minutes commute one way) along with your your spouse because the sub in your son's class over-reacted to a sarcastic (not profane) comment.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the zero-tolerance stories page at www.thisistrue.com/zt.html ? Lots of similar stories (all true) about how zero-tolerance for misbehaviour equals zero thought.
::head:laptop:: @Elmo the situation with your family friend's son obviously calls for the application of "Reeeallllly I need to speak to your principal. Now would be good."
ReplyDeleteAs for Frank, there was no tree in the woods.
That's just nuts. Fight it.
ReplyDeleteTell them that the constitution protects Frank's right to free speech!
ReplyDeletei wouldnt worry about it too much.. the principal will probably simply warn frank and send home a notice that he was warned. Most kids slip up now and again. If i wrote up every child for every slip of the tongue or inappropriate gesture, my hand and wrist would have major carpal tunnel and cramping. I just think that teacher needs to pick and choose her battles.
ReplyDeleteWV bratt! lol
Twenty-odd years ago we lived in Germany and attended the church on the local US Army base. Our daughter was thrown out of her Sunday School class by her teacher for asking for a rubber having made a mistake in the work she was doing at the time. The supervisor came and told me (in tears of laughter) that she had explained that this 5 year old was British and the translation was eraser. Reminds of your European language post, Grumpy!
ReplyDeleteFrank gets a prize for providing blog post content!
ReplyDeleteYou should have charged her for your time...
ReplyDeletePoor Frank! That really is stupid and OTT! Tell her where she gets off!
ReplyDeleteI've determined the school systems in this country have all lost their minds and that I will ignore all communication unless my child suddenly becomes violent and disruptive.
ReplyDeleteThey are so busy CYA-ing they've forgotten why they exist.
I once got in trouble in the 4th grade for saying someone was discombobulated.
ReplyDeleteNo matter that it's an actual freaking word in the dictionary - the problem was that no 4th grader could be smart enough to properly use the word. (Although, when in 2nd and 3rd grade the punishments include copying pages from a dictionary, it seems a little stupid to NOT expect one of the kids to learn SOMETHING.)
I gotchur bad words, right here.
ReplyDelete@Cyndi - I once had a librarian take away a book from me in 3rd grade because "it was too hard" for me to read. I told her that I was actually rereading it and proceeded to give her the major characters & a plot synopsis. She took it away and reshelved it. I narrowed my eyes at her when she was back at her desk, promptly got up, and went back to get the same book.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got home I told my mom & grandparents about the incident. Mom called the principal who spoke to the librarian and I never had any trouble again. My parents also had to give permission for both of my brothers (who attended a private school) to check out anything they wanted at the beginning of each school year.
Fortunately I didn't have to do that with my kids.
She's just doing her job? I would say no, she's not ;-)
ReplyDeleteWould have finished the conversation with "Well, you're probably not going to hear the bad words I'm going to call you after I hang up the phone. Goodbye."
"Yeah, but if you think Heller wrote it, then he didn't, so it's a catch-22."
ReplyDeleteMy brain just imploded.
At least you don't live in my small town. Last week the high school kids were greeted by armed city police officers. No threats or violence of any kind had occurred. They were there to make the kids to tuck in their shirts and put on their belts.
ReplyDeleteOK, Doc, inquiring minds want to know: So what did Frank say?
ReplyDeleteTrigem-
ReplyDeletePolice officers came to the high school to make kids tuck in their shirts and put on their belts??? WTF? I'm a teacher, and unfortunately, it's getting crazier every year. It makes me want to home school my kids.
--Mandy
Gene was 5, had just started school, and was only just learning to spell. His big brother Martin was 10.
ReplyDeleteGene to his Dad: Martin said a Bad Word.
Dad: Did he? What did he say?
Gene: A Bad Word. I'm not going to say it.
Dad: Spell it, then.
Gene: S. I. T.
Dad: S.I.T. Sit. Martin told you to sit down?
There comes a time in every parent's life when they say "Yes!" with a fist pump.
ReplyDeleteOnce, when our son was 2 years old, we were getting ready to run some errands on a Saturday morning and told him to go find his shoes. I walked out into the living to find him looking around and over heard him mutter to himself, "where did I leave my fucking shoes?".
Complete sentence! Proper use of the word! Woot!!!
At 14 he never uses profanity (unlike his parents) and prefers Latin to math.