Security

Hi, it's Marie.

I'm still working part-time at the front desk of the Grumpyville Playhouse.

Recently we were hosting some sort of event. I really don't pay attention, no matter what it is I still just answer the phones and tell people the restrooms are down the hall on the right.

Anyway, after a round of drinks and hors d'oeuvres the crowd staggered inside to listen to a speaker. Since it was then quiet I got my phone and returned to playing scrabble with my bozo brother Craig and his hair.

I didn't even notice when a lady came over.

Lady: "Excuse, me miss."

Marie: "They're down the hall, on the right."

Lady: "There's an unattended package over there."

Marie: "Huh?"

Lady: "Over there, near the coffee station, next to the trash can. It looks like a backpack."

Sure enough, there was a backpack on the floor. Granted, it was probably nothing, but I'm supposed to call security. Fortunately, Big Phil was just outside, having a smoke and admiring his forearm tattoos. I didn't even need to call him because the busybody ran over herself. 

Lady: "Sir, there's an unattended backpack over by the coffee station."

Big Phil sighed, looked at me, crushed out his cigarette, and went over.

Big Phil: "Yeah, okay. Marie, did you see who left that here?" 

Marie: "No."

Big Phil: "Can you see a name tag sticking out or anything?"

Marie: "Let me see."

Lady: "OH! I'm sorry. It's, uh, mine."

Big Phil and I looked at her, then at each other, then back to her.

Lady: "I really thought mine was under my seat in the theater. This is really embarrassing. I, um, need to, uh leave now."

She picked up the backpack and ran out to the parking lot.

Long pause.

Big Phil: "She could at least have offered me a cigarette."