Dr. Grumpy: "Are you allergic to any medications?"
Ms. Sesame: "I'm allergic to all medications that have a letter 'D' in them, regardless of whether it's the brand or generic name, or both."
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A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Onion: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Onion: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
14 comments:
Thought I was the only one
Is she also affected by the letters p, q, and b? If so, I think I know her issue.
At the pharmacy the answer to that question was either, "Yes, I'm allergic to all genetic drugs" (not a typo - they always say genetic) or "No. Just penicillin... sulfa... aspirin..."
"Good thing there's no 'd' in 'cannabis' or 'marijuana' or 'pot' or 'weed'...oh, shit..."
"That's why I self-medicate with whiskey and gin and rum and tequila, but never vodka or brandy."
"Fortunately, there's no 'd' in EpiPen, just in case."
"I always have to cover my body from head to toe whenever I step outside into the sun. Otherwise, I might produce Vitamin D."
The really tricky part is finding medications made of molecules that don't contain any hydrogen.
Is she sure she is supposed to be seeing a neurologist? Wouldn't she be better off with a psychologist or psychiatrist?
Just say no to rugs.
I'm allergic to any medications that start with a vowel.
Why?????
Sometimes.
(sorry - dad joke)
Good thing there's no d in "obecalp."
"I almost died on a trip to Copenhagen a couple of years ago. I drank a cup of water without realizing that the Danish word for it is 'vand.'"
I once had a patient insist (emphatically) that she was allergic to carbon. Which must be a hell of a challenge for a carbon-based lifeform. Maybe she was secretly a silicon-based alien.
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