Monday, May 2, 2022

Weekend on call

I've been called down to ER to see a fellow who suffered a stroke while at the local casino. His wife has just arrived.

Dr. Grumpy: "I'm glad you're here... his face is kind of drooping on this side. Is that normal for him?"

Mrs. Alteplase: "Let me see... He always has that."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay. Do you know what medications he's on?"

Mrs. Alteplase: "No, but check his wallet. He always has that."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay" (I start searching through the guy's pockets). "You know where he keeps it?"

Mrs. Alteplase: "No, but he always has that."

As I find and pull out the wallet a handgun - with the safety off - falls out of another pocket and lands on the floor with a loud THUNK. Me and 2 nurses freeze for a second, afraid it might go off.

Mrs. Alteplase: "He always has that."


Bedřich Fuzzybank said...

"I've learned not to roll over in bed."

Anonymous said...

"He enjoys going to the casino, but sometimes he craves a little more excitement than he can get from the regular roulette."

Anonymous said...

"He used to carry one of those Swiss army knives with a blade and a nail file and scissors and tweezers and a toothpick, but then he realized he could do all the same stuff with this. It's the ultimate multi-use tool."

Anonymous said...

"The life of an orthodontist is always intense."

Officer Cynical said...

"Hey, here's a folded up warrant for armed robbery!"
"He always has that."

Packer said...

Are you happy to see me

Anonymous said...

"It has his initials engraved on the handle, which makes it a form of legal ID."

stacey said...

Packer wins the internet today

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