Actual CT scan report:
Thank you, M!
Monday, April 4, 2022
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A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
13 comments:
(Of course, there's no money for an up-to-date scanner, since I've been embezzling to support my coke habit and my second family. And committing tax fraud to cover up my embezzlement, of course. I could always copy this patient's SSN from the intake form and take out a loan in his name, but I think I already did that last time he came in and he might put two and two together if it happens again. I should be okay once I manage to murder my wife and collect the life insurance, but meanwhile the premiums are killing me. Oh, well, maybe my Amway side gig will start bringing something in. I wonder if I could recruit this patient into my downline?)
(Honestly, I can't even tell where the gray stops and the white starts. I'm just making shit up at this point.)
(Haruspicy with gerbils just isn't cutting it anymore. Next time I go to the pet store, I think I'm going to have to spring for some cats.)
(I think I may have spotted some taurine molecules in there though.)
Why go to all the bother and expense of getting an up-to-date scanner when you can just give the old one a fresh coat of paint and re-theme it?
I presume “M” doesn’t work in Grumpyville.
Uh-Oh. The radiologists are getting restless.
I was transcribing a head CT report once, and the radiologist said, to himself, "That's not supposed to be there!" Later in the report he dictated about what wasn't supposed to be there. My co-worker told me about a time when she was transcribing a chest CT done by the Radiology chief, usually a mellow, soft-spoken individual. She told me that he was dictating away and all of a sudden trailed off, then whispered, "Holy crap!" She said she got to laughing so hard she almost missed what had invoked such a reaction.
Bedfitch
https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2021/09/07/in-eight-year-scheme-former-medical-school-employee-charged-with-stealing-millions-from-yale/
It has been done
I was severely reprimanded once, thus it occurred only one time in my decades-long career (even brought up in a performance review), about my 'unprofessional' consult note ... describing a patient's allergies as "Bzzz, ouch!, (kerplop)" when the cardiothoracic surgeons, and nephrologists prefaced their notes with pictograms of the particular organ they were providing their observation.
Just get an MRI. CT scans are the pitts for grey/white matter delineation!
The radiologist forgot to add that ubiquitous catch-all disclaimer "suggest correlation with clinical findings!"
We don't use voice clips in our pacs system. There just so happen to be one that we came across and listened to it since it was strange. Yeah. It was of the radiologist saying "Oh F***!". Yeah. That got deleted.
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