These buffet signs from the "Department of Obvious."
Perhaps a tad scarier was this item, which falls under "what do we do with all these leftover hot dogs?"
I went down to trivia, and realized I had no chance of winning a key chain:
For those unfamiliar with cruise ship trivia, the game is for bragging rights only. The prizes are generally cheap gift shop crap, like cruise-line themed key chains, beer koozies, golf tees, coasters, and pessaries. Except on Carnival, where it's a plastic trophy shaped like a ship.
One ship we were on had this large artwork in a staircase that, to me, looked like a dead body wrapped in a sheet:
Kind of like Kim Basinger being carried out toward the end of "Last Dance with Mary Jane":
One day the ship's activity guide listed an LGBTQ "delicious lunch feast" with camaraderie. Apparently, however, neither the feast nor camaraderie were to exceed 15 minutes:
This fire hazard is, admittedly, my own invention. It was an improvised set-up to keep my MacBook plugged into the only outlet I could find on the sun deck, using a power convertor and some empty cups to keep the whole thing from falling out.
Lastly, one night we were out strolling on deck, where the pool stand routinely had a cute towel animal on display. That evening we were kind of stunned to see it was, uh, something different.
 |
| "I dunno. Maybe they put Viagra in the laundry detergent?" |
We were somewhat taken aback that the towel booth had taken an R-rated turn, until we continued walking and saw it from another angle:
That's all, folks!
11 comments:
My best cruise memory is from a Princess cruise. I have multiple food allergies and need noms dietary changes due to FODMAP issues. In short I am a nightmare to feed. So I have to order a day ahead. I had ordered a pecan pie. I was given this gelatinous mass. It as horrible. The maitre d arrived to see how my meal was. He was horrified. It took a while but finally we worked out that a crustacean allergy was construed to be an allergy to crusts. By this stage I had the giggles. They had tried so very hard and most of the crew were not native English speakers. It went all the way to hotel services manager.
I have sailed on the Queen Mary and their prizes, at that stage, were very nice.
But the pork isn't where you think it is...
If things get too freaky
In Thessaloniki
I hope ya
Like Skopje.
Look, the ship's morgue got a little too full and I had to do SOMETHING with the overflow. That's definitely the last time I try to perform multiple simultaneous open-heart surgeries after having ten of Isaac's special Mai Tais with the Bacardi 151 float.
Pessaries??? Some prize!
Technically, it's only ONE leftover hot dog.
People always get us confused with New England. Our town's traditional clam chowder is made with Velveeta, Oscar Mayer bologna, a can of Spaghetti-O's, and a couple dashes of cinnamon. It's actually very unusual for it to contain seafood.
The hotels I designed at Disney World were originally going to be the Swan and Dildo, but that wuss Eisner made me change one of them. Some people have no artistic vision whatsoever.
Had to Google "pessaries"....
These look like liability avoidance signs. Food allergies can be very sneaky, and I am in favor of the "contains seafood" sign on the clam chowder. Clam chowder looks just like potato soup to me, and my husband LOVES potato soup. However, he is EXTREMELY allergic to shellfish (like anaphylactic shock allergic) to shellfish, and that sign could save his life.
Not only does the clam chowder, shockingly, contain seafood. But it also hails from the lesser known cousin of New England, the mysterious New Englad.
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