Okay, time to hit the mailbag for stuff you guys have sent in.
First, from the "Those are definitely changing looks, Billie" department we have this headline-photo mismatch:
Next, in the "this way, suckers" category we have a pool product that claims to - I swear - make water moister.
For novel methods of self-defense we have this brass knuckles - iPhone case combo.
From the "No wonder the bison was mad" file:
Here's the mysterious, yet oddly prevalent, use of quotation marks to make you wonder what's REALLY going to be served.
Of course, sometimes even without the quotation marks you know there's something wrong.
At other times you Just. Don't. Want. To. Know.
10 comments:
I think things are starting to normalize for me ... not walking around so much in the fog of the last six months (or, maybe the latest idea for decreasing condensation on glasses while wearing a mask is working), but there is a sense of hilarity still bubbling up occasionally.
I was in the grocery store several months ago looking for the new crop of rhubarb and was startled by the brand wrapping for fresh asparagus sold by a company whose logo included a small mountain range atop its encircled company address in small black letters at the bottom of the label. There were two oddly angled 'holes' at the top to slip the rubber bands with which to wrap around the bunch, and a more oddly placed v-shape cut in the middle of the label. The whole thing gave the impression the asparagus company did not view its labeling prior to distribution, as the ends of the spears sticking up above this gave the impression of wildly ethnic hairstyle. Red asparagus is not a popular item in my town (neither is store-bought rhubarb), but needless to say there was a different brand of asparagus on sale in the fresh produce section of the supermarket the next time I transgressed 'shelter-in-place' government recommendations to go shopping.
So when and where are you going on vacation? Road trip to the nut cheese factory take the kids to laugh their asses off
At least the nutcheese is artisanal.
For those wondering, apparently the Pool Refresh is supposed to moisturize your /skin/. It's supposed to make treated pool water less harsh on your skin and hair.
But the kosher ones are cured.
It's a special homeopathic water moisturizer.
Fun game: see how the sentence changes every time you move the scare quotes to a different word.
In case you weren't traumatized enough by nutcrackers.
Glad the label on the nutcheese states what it is. I wouldn't take a second look if guessing the contents from the outside.
Here's a proper use of artisan for you:
https://www.expunct.com/business/in-praise-of-capitalist-mining-companies/
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