Thursday, March 5, 2020
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A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
5 comments:
You know that America runs on Dunkin
Someone gets paid by the letter?
2.45 GHz
What's the frequency, Kenneth?
Saw-palmetto, eh? How is that working for you?
No beer? Eh, how many cups was that, Kenneth? Two. Was it black, half and half or espresso? From Dunkin' Donuts? Oh. You said two? What size were the cups?
Did you say 'plenty' of water? How much water is plenty? How do you measure 'plenty'? What's your best estimation of plenty? How much water? That much? You, don't say! Was it hot? Cold? Frozen?
Was it fresh from the tap? How long did it run from the tap? Not tap water? Bottled water? What kind? Which brand? Was it in a BPA-free bottle? Save yourself a passel of money and the planet with stainless steel, fill-it-up yourself, at 2,000% less cost, that's after the price of the Thermos bottle.
Okay. Well, then!
What was the frequency, Kenneth? Frequency. Frequency. The water bottle is not BPH-free you know. We need to know frequency. 2.45 GHz? FM not AM. If we don't know the color, osmolarity or specific gravity, we must have the frequency!
You've told us how much water went in. We know you had two cups of coffee.
And, now, you think it's the water that causes the frequency and not the caffeine? Nor, the theophylline, quinic acid, dimethyl disulfide, trigonelline, acrylamide, acetylmethylcarbinol. Probably not the putrescine.
Well, then, let's just use this urinal next time you go. Here's a notepad and pencil. Make an 'x' every time you go. Don't dump it in the toilet until it is measured. Please. We must have the frequency.
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