Thursday, March 21, 2019

11:52 p.m.

I'm sound asleep when my iPhone rings. It's my call partner, Dr. Cortex.

Dr. Grumpy (mumbling, trying to wake up): "This is Dr. Grumpy."

Dr. Cortex: "Hi, it's Cortex."

Dr. Grumpy: "Why are you calling? Aren't you in the hospital for hip surgery?"

Dr. Cortex: "Yeah. Hey, did you round on my patients today?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes."

Dr. Cortex: "Did you see the guy in alcohol withdrawal in room 6824?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes, why? I think I ordered all the usual tests."

Dr. Cortex: "Because after I left recovery they put me in the room next to him, and he's screaming nonstop and I can't sleep. He's driving me nuts. I'm going to put you on with his nurse now, so you can order something to sedate him."


11 comments:

Officer Cynical said...

"Hello, Nurse? This is Grumpy. I want to order a sedative for Cortex."

Anonymous said...

Great answer Officer!

Moose said...

mmmmmm benzos....

bobbie said...

I love it!!!

Brent said...

It's not always WHAT you know; many times it is WHO you know!

jbt369 said...

"So, let me get this straight. He's your patient, you are right there and awake, and you need me to write the order? Did they give you a licenceectomy in surgery?"

Packer said...

Sounds like cortex has pissed off some Hospital Staffers over the years. . OC has chops.

Brian said...

Dr Cortex is artificially biased in favor of a quiet patient. While this instance may be fine, having a general policy of going through another doctor when not able to operate in an unbiased manner is an easy way to avoid inadvertently crossing a line.

jbt369 said...

Dear Brian:

Yes. I see that now. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Vitamin H and a ride on the ati-VAN?

Anonymous said...

As a person who struggles with sleep, sedate the man. This was a valid page for the middle of the night!lol

 
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