Friday, September 21, 2018

The teenage mind

I'm sitting at my desk, about an hour before my first victim patient. My wife is at a meeting out of town, but fortunately the kids are old enough to drive themselves to school.

Then the text came in.

Craig: Dad. I'm locked out of the car. I need help.

What the hell? School started 20 minutes ago!

Dr. Grumpy: Ask Marie for her keys.

Craig: I can't. She's at school.

WHAT?!!! Okay, this isn't making sense.

Dr. Grumpy: Then where are you?

Craig: I'm at 7-Eleven.

Dr. Grumpy: Why are you at 7-Eleven twenty minutes after school started?

 Craig: It was an emergency! I had to get something for class! Do you have keys to the 4Runner?


Dr. Grumpy: Yes. Which 7-Eleven are you at?

Craig: The one at South Street and Central.

So I tell Mary I'm going to rescue Craig and will be back in a few. Fortunately, South & Central isn't too far from my office.

I get to South & Central, and Craig is nowhere to be seen.

Dr. Grumpy: Craig, I'm at the 7-Eleven at South & Central, and you're not here.

Craig: Well, I'm at a 7-Eleven. Maybe it's not that one.

I roll my eyes, take out my iPhone, and look up his location.

Dr. Grumpy: Craig, you're almost 3 miles away, at the 7-Eleven at 12th St. and Elm.

Craig: How was I supposed to know that? Please hurry, I'm going to get in trouble at school!

So I head over and find him there, standing outside the car. As I unlocked it he picked up two Slurpee's in a cardboard carrier and set them on the floor.

Craig: "Thanks, Dad. I'm sorry."

Dr. Grumpy: "It happens. What did you need for school, anyway?"

Craig: "The Slurpees."

Dr. Grumpy: "You left school to get 2 Slurpees? This whole thing was over a Slurpee?"

Craig: "Slurpees. I mean, yeah, Marie wanted one, too."

Dr. Grumpy: "Why didn't you get them at the 7-11 by the school?"

Craig: "I went there first, but they don't start making them until 10:00. But I remembered there was another 7-11 down here."

And he drove off.


Officer Cynical said...

At least he didn't say he was locked IN the car.

Anonymous said...

Mine were the same way as teens. I use to be frightened to think that these people could be making life or death decisions for me when I'm not able to make them for myself. Thankfully they've all grown brains and are now functional adults.

Ms. Donna said...

Remember this when he graduates from med school!

gloriap said...

I'm showing my age: 1. Slurpees are cr@p in a cup (but what do you expect from someone whose father is addicted to Diet Coke?) 2. A Slurpee is not an excuse to be where you are not supposed to be. 3. How often has he done this without getting caught by being locked out of the car?

Linda Myers said...

Sounds SO familiar!

Anonymous said...

Lawnmower? I kid, I'd do the same for mine, if nothing more than saving the locksmith fees. Please let us know how he cleared his absence at school. I suspect he charms his way with the secretaries and teachers all the time.

Moose said...

My un-asked for advice:

Get the AAA family plan.

Make sure the drivers all have a card.

When stuff like this happens, tell them to pull out the card and figure it out themselves. Oh, and any extra charges (like, say, for locksmiths) will be paid by the culprit.

Nothing like some hard (financial) lessons to get things into their heads.

Mark C said...

I agree with Moose

Anonymous said...

I agree with moose and Mark. Craig didn’t have to learn anything from this, so what’s to stop it from happening again? Oh, and I have two teenagers, one 17 and one 13, who aren’t this airheaded, so don’t call this the “teenager” mindset.

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