Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Birthday gifts

One of Dr. Pissy's staff has a delightful 2 1/2 year old girl named Rachel.

This summer, due to her babysitter being on a family vacation, Rachel is at the office most days. I'm sure this irritates some people, but at our little dumpster fire of an office, we don't care. She's fun and adorable, and is a pleasant distraction from the everyday routine of medicine.

Currently Rachel is in a phase where EVERYTHING is related to her birthday, even things that are not. For example:

Dr. Pissy: "Those are nice shoes, Rachel."
Rachel: "I got them for my birthday."
 
Dr. Grumpy: "Is that a good corn dog, Rachel?"
Rachel: "Yes. I got it for my birthday."

Random Patient: "Is that a horse you're drawing a picture of, Rachel?"
Rachel: "It's for my birthday."

(for the record, Rachel's birthday is somewhere around Christmas)

Yesterday, I was getting ready to leave and went to get my briefcase. For some reason Rachel followed me down the hall, and I didn't hear her behind me.

I picked up my briefcase, turned around, and WHACK! my briefcase hit Rachel on the side of her forehead. It wasn't too hard, but enough to surprise and hurt her.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Her mother (and most of the front office) came charging back to see what happened. I was trying to comfort Rachel (without much success) and as soon as she saw her Mom, she ran to her.

Mom: "Rachel, did you get hurt? What happened?"
Rachel: "DR. GRUMPY HIT ME IN THE HEAD FOR MY BIRTHDAY!"

18 comments:

gloriap said...

Her response could have been a lot more incriminating. Rachel needs a collar with a bell--before her birthday.

Astrolabe Silverwax said...

It's like the kiddie version of the fortune cookie game.

John Woolman said...

Oh dear. Having confessed this heinous sick, are you waiting. For the knock on the door from Children’s Social Services?

Anonymous said...

and one more to grow on!

Anonymous said...

Giggling (albeit quietly) here; can't stop myself.

Amanda said...

Seconding the collar and bell as a gift for Rachel :)

If memory serves, the age of two-and-a-half is kind of hilarious and awesome. Then they turn three...

Anonymous said...

That's funny! Made me chuckle.

Anonymous said...

Don't say I never gave you anything.

Nurse Lilly said...

You really suck in the gift-giving department.

Mad Jack said...

Ha!
Ha!Ha!
Ha!Ha!Ha!

Following too closely. For her birthday.

jbt369 said...

Happy (thwack!) day to you!
Happy (thwack!) day to you!
Happy (thwack!) day dear Rachel!
Happy (thwack!) day to you!

Ms. Donna said...

Thirding the collar and bell idea. Be calm and polite when Child Services (or whatever they are called in Grumpyville) shows up.

And for Pete's sake do NOT get her ice cream or anything with sugar in it. For her birthday.

jono said...

After a whack in the head shouldn't you give her a complete neurology work up? For her birthday, of course.

Avicile Mohaili said...

Hah, my 4yo, also with a December birthday, keeps telling people it's "almost her birthday."

A. Marie said...

When you're as small as Rachel, and as I once was back when mastodons roamed the earth, you're obsessed with doing whatever you can to add to your age. Because I was so desperate to be 5 back when I was 4, I developed a pretty good grasp of fractions pretty early ("I'm 4 3/4 years old!"). This may be what's behind Rachel's birthday obsession. At my present stage in life, of course, I'd do anything to take years *off* my age...

Meanwhile, Dr. G, do what you can to patch things up with Rachel and her mom. And thanks for the story.

Migraineur said...

I'm so sorry Rachel. I must have thought you were your birthday pinata.

Packer said...

What to give Craig for his birthday?

Tee said...

::giggles:: I'm sorry, it's been awhile since I've laughed this hard and I REALLY needed the laugh, so thank you, Dr. Grumpy! (And Rachel!) But nobody has asked the obvious question here... was the birthday whack in the head artisanal?

 
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