Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Wednesday reruns

Last run in 2011, an oldie but goodie.

People often ask me "How do I find a good doctor?"
That's a tough question, and it can be tricky. So here are a few tips to warn you that your doctor may not be real. Any one of these (not to mention ALL of them, FFS) should alert you to look for another doctor.

1. A reputable physician's sole listing will likely NOT be in a Bulgarian language newspaper in Skokie, Illinois.

2. A reputable physician generally will NOT be seeing office patients at 6:30 on a Saturday night.

3. A reputable physician will NOT wait for you, alone, in a dark, locked, building with a "CLOSED" sign in the window.

4. A reputable physician will NOT let you knock for a while before letting you in himself.

5. A reputable physician will NOT stick toothpicks in your chest.

6. A reputable physician will NOT give you a bottle of pills labeled "Prosperous Farmer" that expired in 2002 (or anything called that, no matter when it expired!)

7. A reputable physician will ALWAYS have some sort of office paperwork.

8. A reputable physician will NOT jump into his car and try to drive away when you return for a follow-up visit.

If your physician does this, and you paid $150 cash for it, then you must have been seeing this guy.


bobbie said...

Ye gods and little fishes...

Avicile Mohaili said...

Wait... this is all ONE GUY?

Moose said...

Hmmm. Dr Google says that "Prosperous Farmer" supplements are Chinese Herbal Medicine.

Atractylodes (white) rhizome, Poria cocos fruiting body, Astragalus root, Pinellia rhizome (treated), Chinese yam root, Tangerine dried rind of mature fruit, Chinese amomum fruit, Vladimiria root, Magnolia bark, Chinese red ginseng root and tail, Chinese licorice root, Dried ginger root, Chinese hawthorn fruit .

Given that it's supposed to be put in water, I think this is really just an herbal tea.

Jaedodrax said...

I call your toothpick acupuncturist, and raise you a "Doctor Kitty"

Anonymous said...

Or did it ever occur to you that maybe he's a brilliant but eccentric maverick who's right when everyone else is wrong, and isn't part of the whole crooked medical establishment? It happens all the time on TV.

софия пич said...

вестника трябваше да е улика. сериозно, който вече чете вестници?

Anonymous said...

"Coming up on the news at eleven- ten signs that your teenager might be addicted to the new drug called 'Prosperous Farmer.' Stay tuned; you won't want to miss this."

Anonymous said...

I suspect that there are some perfectly reputable physicians out there who will, in fact, jump in their cars and try to drive away when certain patients of theirs return for a follow-up visit.

Locations of visitors to this page