Monday, October 11, 2010

When hospital rounds go bad

Early this morning I went to the hospital to check on Mrs. Tinystroke. She'd been doing much better last evening, so my plan was to get her home today.

I walked in the room to see two nurses standing by the bed. Mrs. Tinystroke looked awful. Unconscious, limp, drooling and very pale.

Dr. Grumpy: "What happened? When did this start?!!!"

Nurse Nightshift: "She's been like this all night."

Dr. Grumpy: "WHAT! Why didn't anyone call me!"

Nurse Nightshift: "Because..."

Dr. Grumpy: "This is unbelievable! My patient burns down overnight and you guys don't think to call me? Holy crap! I need a STAT head CT and..."

Nurse Nightshift: "DOCTOR GRUMPY!!!"

Dr. Grumpy: "What? I don't want some lame excuse..."

Nurse Nightshift: "LOOK! The reason I didn't call you is because THIS ISN'T YOUR PATIENT!!!" Mrs. Tinystroke is in room 17. You're in 16."

(long pause)

Dr. Grumpy: "These gray heads are all starting to look alike."

Nurse Nightshift: "Yes, and you're giving both of us one."

(another pause)

Mrs. Tinystroke: "Dr. Grumpy, is that you out in the hall? Can I go home today?"

31 comments:

ERP said...

Holy Pick's Disease Batman!

Mike said...

Oops.

krystina said...

LOL. one of our docs (thankfully the hospital "asked him to leave") went into a patient's room, called her by the name he thought she was, and proceeded to tell her his plan. Poor thing looked so confused, so I "helped" him realize it was the wrong room. His response? "why did you let me go in there then!? I was told this was her room!" didn't even apologize to the patient! I'm glad he's gone, though

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Krystina- this one was my fault. No one to blame but myself.

Anonymous said...

It's good to see not only a doctor who's willing to take responsibility for his actions, but also with a sense of humor. The docs around me are a bit lacking in both. ;-p

Pissed Off Patient said...

But at least it's a happy mistake for Tinystroke!

M

RehabNurse said...

No one took your Diet Coke did they?
Sounds like you need one STAT!

Back to my coffee...

Nick said...

I know a few nurses. They feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of this funny thing that happened this one time when I was really stoned and I went to the old-age home to visit my grandmother...

lbparker said...

Sleep deprivation--its a beautiful thing.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you. In a hospital setting, it seems all older folk do look somewhat alike.

Anonymous said...

As an MS3, a resident interrupted me during my presentation of a pt on whom I had pre-rounded. He told me that we were with the wrong patient, but I knew we were not. After clarifying that this was indeed the correct pt, he got very angry. He yelled at me, "Well, who the HELL did I see, then??!!"

Uh.. don't know.

Anonymous said...

heh... nurse nightshift will be blogging about you at grumpynursenightshift.com

Anonymous said...

Just curious, what would have happened if the nurses hadn't been there? You would have looked at the patient's chart and realized your mistake then?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Usually if I question that I check the bracelet to make sure they didn't move my patient to another room.

donna said...

Ooops! I have to words:
Flowers/chocolate!

The Mother said...

Oh, I know you'll never live this one down among the nursing staff.

In fact, it will be legendary in the entire hospital system by afternoon.

We can treat Alzheimer's now, you know. I read it in some blog recently. Must be true.

Anonymous said...

Dr. G, I feel your pain. I was sent out as a home health nurse to insert a Foley into a postpartum woman having some problems. My lack of Spanish and hers of English made for some fun rounds of charades and simple words, with the woman's pupils getting wider and wider about what I was going to put WHERE??? Turns out in a multi-generational household I had the WRONG postpartum daughter-in-law. The foley was placed in the right patient to the relief of her bladder and her sister-in-law's overall relief!!

Pattie, RN

JoAnna said...

What, you're human after all?! That breaking sound you hear is my illusions shattering! :D

KateA said...

Eh, I have that problem sometimes. At 4 AM, I have to be very careful to check which post Hemilam dachshund I am looking at. And then there was the guy that got mad when I referred to his cat as a he when clearly "Mike" was a girl. Um, you name your cat something that is masculine, you need to get used to someone referring to it as a boy. When a patient is having a seizure, I am more concerned about the seizure than the sex.

Corey the Coroner said...

I can totally sympathize. A couple of months ago, I stayed up all night watching reruns of "Cash Cab," and then I went in to the hospital and did an autopsy on a guy and then afterward it turned out that I'd gone into the wrong room and the guy I'd autopsied had just gone in for a vasectomy. Oops! Man, did I get a lot of teasing for that.

RxMomma said...

you need more.diet.coke.... lol!

Kyla said...

Dr Grumpy! You've been spending too much time with your patients, clearly.

Arzt4Empfaenger said...

Hah, that was sort of cute, Dr. Grumpy. Thank you for the smile!

Just Me said...

Oh dear then again id probably do that too lol

Anonymous said...

If it is any comfort...my eldest child, a son, is 20 now, but I have still not forgiven the OBGYN who sat at my bedside after my first childbirth blabbering on about my baby as "she" and "her". He had not actually delivered the baby, his practice partner did, but you'd think after all those months of looking after me he would actually bother to find out what sex the baby was? It wasn't hard, because the hospital marked bassinets with a big PINK card if the baby therein was a girl, and a big BLUE card if the baby was a boy. The BLUE card was clearly visible.
Admittedly the baby was awfully pretty!

Anonymous said...

I hope you apologized to the nurses for yelling at them.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Of course I did! What do you think I am? A neurosurgeon?

Frantic Pharmacist said...

At least in pharmacy they can't always see what we're doing behind the counter -- like when we tell someone their prescription isn't covered and then realize we ran it under someone else's insurance. "Just hold on, we'll try it ONE more time!!.....alright, it worked THAT time!!"

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the time I had just given birth to my first child. A doctor walked in and introduced himself, "Hello, I'm Dr. Cuttingitoff, and I'll be performing your baby's circumcision this morning," as he reached down to pick up my new baby girl.

Cartoon Characters said...

That's exactly how we got a reluctant MD to sign off on an expired patient. He walked into the room his patient USED to be in, and the newly expired patient that we required him - as the first MD to arrive in the am - to pronounce. It was all by accident... fortuitous for sure.

 
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