Highlight of call this weekend was a 20-something guy I saw for a head injury.
He had a fight with his girlfriend outside a restaurant and said he was going to teach her a lesson.
So he began repeatedly banging HIS head against the concrete sidewalk until he was covered with blood. At that point the police and paramedics pulled up, and so he began banging his head repeatedly on the police car's windshield until he shattered it
He then went back to beating his head on the sidewalk, which continued until the cops tasered him and the paramedics gave him a dose of Valium.
The admitting diagnosis was "Self Assault"
Exactly what lesson his girlfriend learned from this is unclear, but I suspect it had something to do with getting another boyfriend.