Welcome to Grand Rounds, year 7!

As you're all aware, I was asked to host online Grand Rounds this week. So thank you all for coming! I'll be returning to my regularly scheduled whining tomorrow.

Coffee and bagels are in back. Sign in on the sheet. Medical students, please remember that you're allowed to sit ONLY if there are chairs left after the attendings, fellows, residents, and homeless people (here for the bagels) have been seated.

Food was provided by our drug rep Rikki, on behalf of Wirfliss Pharmaceuticals. She asks that when writing a prescription, please keep their many Wirfliss products in mind.

Before beginning, I'd like to thank Dr. Fizzy for her suggestions on doing grand rounds, and (as always) her totally awesome collection of medical cartoons. If you don't already read her, then (after this) click here and get started.

A big thank you to everyone who sent stuff in. I received A LOT of submissions, and unfortunately couldn't use them all. So if you didn't make it, I'm sorry. Everything I got was good. Some of you sent great anecdotes and stories, but in keeping with tradition, I limited it to links for blogs.

And we're off! The topic was: THINGS THAT MAKE ME GRUMPY!


To start, I present: THE PHARMACISTS!




The king of pissed-off pharmacists, The Angry Pharmacist, submitted this post about an issue that drives him (and many docs) nuts- the prevalence of meds ending in -XR, -XL, -CR, etc.

My esteemed colleague Pharmacy Chick sent her list of pet peeves from the other side of counter. And I have to agree with her.

Next up in the center ring: THE NURSES!





From the Florida keys, we have Mojito Girl. She brings us stories from the ER "spa" there. Mojito, dear, although your email promised "truckloads of money sent to a Swiss bank account" for putting this up, I still haven't received it. Perhaps this is because I don't have a Swiss account. Or simply the logistics of you driving trucks from Florida to Switzerland.

Nurse Running Princess (like many of us) finds herself stymied by some of the asinine ideas that drift down from hospital management.


Here they are: THE MEDICAL RECEPTIONISTS!





My idol, Dr. Oscar London, once wrote that "The doctor is your humble servant. The secretary is Her Majesty, the Queen", and I quite agree. You all know my boss secretary, Queen Mary, but she's far from alone in the combat of front desk medicine.

Queen Kate sent 4 totally awesome examples of the insanity that goes on in the trenches, and I couldn't pick one over the others (I tried). So here, in no particular order, they are:

Crayzee 1, Crayzee 2, Crayzee 3, and Crayzee 4.

I think if Mary and Kate start a blog together, they'll drive me off the web.


Next up: THE PARAMEDICS!





Medic999 had a lot to say about the insanity of an answering service that doesn't quite grasp what "the patient is dead!" means.


Now taking the stage: THE DOCTORS!





Dr. Orion, from the wild world of psychiatry, writes about misadventures on a book tour.

On the topic of false advertising, pathologist Gizabeth writes in about being promised a lab specimen of gangrenous hemorrhoids (doesn't that sound horrible?), and her disappointment when they weren't.

Doctor D gets peeved over patients who want a doctor to have superpowers to diagnose and treat without ever seeing them.

Jill-of-all-Trades, M.D. wanted to stress ways to avoid being grumpy (no, I don't understand that, either), and sent in tips to properly conduct the circus of medical practice.

Master Surgeon RLBates wrote in concerning a trend that makes her (and me, too) grumpy: A TV show that's promoting plastic surgery as a prize package for brides!

Manixter, an anesthesiologist who specializes in passing gas, writes in to tell us what it's like when you have to use bedside manner with a relative. She also had a Jeff Foxworthyesque piece on you may be an anesthesiologist if...

Dr. Kirsch, while not necessarily grumpy, sent in a poignant post on faith and medicine.

Glass Hospital sent in his secrets about working at a university student health center.

Dr. Dalai, a radiologist who specializes in the "I'm tearing my hairs out by the roots" field of IT, sends in his grumpiness over trying to set up a PACS system.


Entering the spotlight: THE RESIDENTS!





MD Resident, who's surviving the hazing ritual of call, wrote about annoying aspects of residency.


And now... THE MEDICAL STUDENTS!





Action Potential wanted to gripe about schools promoting "new curriculum" ideas that do nothing but make you look socially inept.

Mack wanted to grump about the serious medical condition Facebookalgia.


And last, but certainly not least,... THE PATIENTS!





The Banshee, who recently had a baby without any freakin' pain meds, sent in this story of a whiny family member.

Pink Tee Shirt sent in her peeves from the patient side of the medical world.

Copewithpain wanted to discuss problems encountered at the doctor's office.

Joseph Morris wanted to discuss disgusting things about public bathrooms.

While I, personally, revel in my grumpiness, the folks over at Bedside Manner wanted to suggest ways to avoid being Grumpy. Here are their suggestions, though they forgot to list "don't run out of Diet Coke."





It looks like we're running out of both time and bagels, so I'll wrap up. In closing, I'm going to post my own pick, something entirely unrelated, and one of the best pieces of blog writing EVER. Nurse Maha's awesome take on Edgar Allan Poe's classic poem, The Raven.

And that's all! Thanks for joining us for Grand Rounds. Let's have a round of applause for Nick Genes (no relation to Splice) and Val Jones for asking me to do this (I'm still waiting for my Diet Coke, by the way). Next week Grand Rounds will be held over at Sharp Brains, so tune in then.

Medical students, please don't put the leftover bagels in your white coats until the residents have picked them over.