Happy Birthday!

Sir Isaac Newton

 

Seen in a chart

 Great moments in radiology reports:

Thank you, Tom!

Night at the Opera

Hi, this is Marie.

Besides my regular job, I've been working part-time at Local Playhouse. I handle ticket sales, field calls about showtimes, and tell people the restrooms are down the hall on the right.

 

(phone rings)

Marie: "Local Playhouse box office, can I help you?"

Ms. Cranky: "Hi, I need to get a refund on some tickets."

Marie: "Okay, when is the show? Are you able to bring them down here?"

Ms. Cranky: "Yes, I can bring them over tomorrow, am I able to get a full refund?"

Marie: "That depends on the show, and when it is."

Ms. Cranky: "It's 'A Shoggoth on the Roof.'"

Marie: "Hmmm... I don't see that on our schedule. Did you call the right theater? This is Local Playhouse."

Ms. Cranky: "Yes, I've got the tickets right here. They were for July 23, 2017."

Marie: "Um, we don't give refunds on tickets from past productions. We can't resell them."

Ms. Cranky: "That's ridiculous. They've never been used. They're in good condition. I must have forgotten about them and never gone to the show. I found them today when I was cleaning out a drawer."

Marie: "I'm sorry, but we can't give you a refund on them."

Ms. Cranky: "Now what am I supposed to do? I've already called every scalper in town and they won't take them either! People like you are why theater is dying!"

(click)

Weekend on call

One of my consults this weekend was an unfortunate fellow in ICU who'd recently had heart surgery. For whatever reason they'd decided to leave his chest cavity open for a few days, in case they had to go back in urgently.

So I went in the room. As expected, the guy was sedated and intubated. I checked his pupils and reflexes, the usual neurology stuff.

Being curious, I couldn't help looking into his partially open chest cavity, where, under surgical-sterile plastic sheeting, I could see his heart beating.

A nurse in the room came over and offered me a Junior Mint.