Nice Arrangement

Dr. Grumpy: "All right, I sent the script into your pharmacy. Here's an order to have the labs done."

Mr. Stedenko: "Can I get these done at Orlok labs? There's one in the medical building right across from one of my stores, the one I'm usually at."

Dr. Grumpy: "Sure. What kind of store do you own?"

Mr. Stedenko: "I'm a tobacconist. Have you heard of Pedro & Man? It's a smoke shop with locations across Grumpy county."

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes, I have. Okay, I'll call you when the results come in, and I'll make sure a copy goes to your internist."

Mr. Stedenko: "Thank you. Can you also send a copy of the lab results to my brother?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Sure. Is he..."

Mr. Stedenko: "He's also in the building across from my store, he's a pulmonologist."

Modern life

In the last hour I’ve logged into my IRS account, my bank account, Intuit payroll, my E-prescribing account, the state narcotic database, my retirement account, the hospital Epic system, and my spam filter account, and I’m sitting here wishing there was one authenticator app they’d all use.

And then I began thinking “One authenticator app to rule them all, one authenticator app to find them, one app to log in to all, and on my monitor bind them.”

 

 

 

Front desk

Mary: "Hi, can I help you?"

Mr. Kard: "I have an appointment to see Dr. Grumpy."

Mary: "Okay, let me hand you this clipboard and forms, there's some pens over there... can I get your insurance card?"

Mr. Kard: "Um, I don't have it."

Mary: "Is it on your phone?"

Mr. Kard: "No, but my mother has been here, too, and it's the same insurance. Can you look up her card?"

Mary: "Okay, what's her name?"

Mr. Kard: "Irene Kard."

Mary: "Okay, hang on... Um, your mom hasn't been here in over 15 years... and her insurance card was with a plan that doesn't exist anymore."

Mr. Kard: "So you can't use that one?"

Mary: "No. We need a new copy, can you have your mom text you a picture of it? I just need the numbers on the front."

Mr. Kard: "She died ten years ago."

Conferences

Let's talk about Genital and Urological (GU) cancers.

1. I don't treat them. I'm a neurologist. Not my end of the body. So how I got on a mailing list for them is beyond me.

2. If you were, say, a marketing person trying to get people to think of genital & urological cancers, what kind of image would you choose? Some sort of artistically non-smutty cartoon of a person's nether regions? A generic pic of a doctor looking at an MRI film? If the conference were in San Diego perhaps an image of a sunset on a beach?

Or maybe you'd just do this:

 

 

I don't know about you guys, but pretty much nothing makes me think of genital & urological cancer more than a big bowl of guacamole. At lease, that's the image that will be stuck in my mind for a while, and Mrs. Grumpy will wonder why I'm suddenly avoiding our favorite Mexican restaurant, La Casa DeMentia.

Personally, I think they should try to coordinate the meeting so it occurs at the same place and time as the Sarcoma Academy Lectures in Surgical Advances, along with a gathering of the California HIghway Patrol.