On call

Guy walks in, comes up to front desk.

Mary: "Hi, can I help you?"

Pete: "Hello, I'm Pete, I have an appointment with Dr. Grumpy at 1:45."

Mary: "Okay, let me have you fill this out... pens are over there... Can I get a copy of your insurance card?"

Pete: "Sure."

He hands over his card, starts doing the form.

Mary: "Oh, you work for Deuce Brown Plumbing. That's a big company, I think you guys have been to my house a few times."

Pete: "Yeah, we have people all over Grumpyville. I'm covering for this part of town today. Here's your form back."

Mary: "Thanks, here's your card back. Have a seat and the doctor will be out in a few minutes."

Pete sits down, picks up a magazine. His phone rings.

Pete: "Deuce Brown plumbing, this is Pete... Yes... A septic tank? Yeah, we... yeah, that doesn't sound good... overflowing out into your living room... hang on. Excuse me, uh, Mary?"

Mary: "Yes?"

Pete: "Can I reschedule my appointment? Sorry, but I have a work emergency. A lady has..."

Mary: "Yeah, that's fine. Why don't you take care of her, I understand. You can call back later."

Pete: "Thanks... I'll be there in about 15 minutes ma'am... yeah, uh, I'd probably take the dog outside and hose him down..."

Pete ran out of the office.

Okay

Dr. Grumpy: "Are you allergic to any medications?"

Mrs. Leavening: "Yeah, I don't know what it's called, but there's something they put in bread that makes me fat."

Guessing Games

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, folks, good to see you again, been a few years. What brings you in today?"

Mrs. Corn: "I wanted to get my MRI results."

Dr. Grumpy: "Hmmmm... I don't show that I've ordered an MRI on you for around 5 years."

Mr. Corn: "She had one last week, and we've been waiting to hear the results."

Dr. Grumpy: "I don't see that I ordered it. Who did?"

Mr. Corn: "We thought you did."

Dr. Grumpy: "No... What was it of anyway?"

Mrs. Corn: "I think it was my head."

Mr. Corn: "I thought it was your back."

Mrs. Corn: "I don't know, it was a body part. Do they do stomach MRI's?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Where did you have it done?"

Mrs. Corn: "Local MRI, across the street."

Dr. Grumpy: "Mmm... Nothing there on you for a few years."

Mr. Corn: "Maybe it was the place over on the north side? You know, the one with the MRI machine?"

Mrs. Corn: "I thought that place closed."

Mr. Corn: "Oh, maybe it was the one downtown, can you look there?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No, I only have access to the Local MRI system. Do you have it written down?"

Mrs. Corn: "It's on my desk at home. I didn't think you'd need to know that, since you ordered it."

Dr. Grumpy: "I didn't order it. What other doctors have you seen recently who may have ordered it?"

Mr. Corn: "We have them written down on the calendar on the fridge. I figured all the records were in the system."

Dr. Grumpy: "Maybe their system, not mine. You should probably check your recent appointments to see which doctor may have ordered it, and contact that office."

Mrs. Corn: "That seems like a lot of work. Wouldn't it be easier if you just ordered another MRI?"

Mount Wannahockaloogie

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you have a medication list?"

Mr. Skoal: "Yeah, it's in my wallet, hang on. Hey doc, can I have your trash can next to my chair for the visit?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Sure, here it is, are you okay?"

Mr. Skoal: "Yeah, I just need something to spit my chewing tobacco in."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, uh... let's have a look at the med list."

Mr. Skoal: "Here you go. Ya know, my family doc has a spittoon in every room in his office. Maybe you should, too."