September

Reminding all the guys out there that it's Prostate Cancer Awareness month. So be sure to get checked. And here's some special guests to say more.

Wednesday afternoon

I'm in line at the bank, and hear this conversation in front of me:



Teller: "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we can't give you a cash withdrawal without any identification."

Ms. Deceit: "How about I just get the money today? I can come back tomorrow with ID."

Teller: "No, we need a form of identification before giving you the money."

Ms. Deceit: "Like I said, I left my purse at work, or I wouldn't be here in the first place."

Teller: "Well, you can certainly get it and return later."

Ms. Deceit: "Don't be silly. For that kind of trouble I might as well go to different bank. How about if I give you my cell phone number? You can call it right now, and I'll put my phone on the counter. When it rings that will prove it's me."

Teller: "We can't accept that. What we need is a photo ID and..."

Ms. Deceit: "A photo ID is easy. Don't you have a computer back there? I'll show you my Facebook page, so then you can see my picture and know I'm telling the truth."

Teller: "Ma'am, Facebook isn't an acceptable form of identification, and we'd also need to see..."

Ms. Deceit: "This is why I prefer online banking. Places with people in them, like this, just aren't customer-friendly."

(she leaves)

Phone calls

I'm with a patient. Mary interrupts me to say there's another doctor on hold, who needs to talk to me.


Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy."

Dr. Call: "Hi, we have a mutual patient, Mrs. Memory."

Dr. Grumpy: "Hang on, let me pull up her chart... Okay. It looks like I haven't seen her since 2014."

Dr. Call: "Okay, you need to pull her driver's license. I don't think she's safe to drive."

Dr. Grumpy: "I really can't do that after 4 years without seeing her. Why don't you have her family call Mary to bring her in? I can see her tomorrow morning at..."

Dr. Call: "That's ridiculous. She needs to have her license cancelled today. Immediately."

Dr. Grumpy: "Why don't you call the state DMV? You can do it, too."

Dr. Call: "I'm very busy! I don't have time to do things like that! This is your problem!"

Dr. Grumpy: "I..."

Dr. Call: "Okay, since you don't seem to be able to, I'll take care of it. What is the DMV phone number?"

Dr. Grumpy: "I don't know it off the top of my head, but you can..."

Dr. Call: "I'll just have my staff do it. You're not very helpful."

She hung up.

"Stand back!"

Seen in a bladder-flow report: