It's the Benny Hill Show!

Yes, just another day in the life of an undercover cop.

Thank you, Ed!

Crime in America

Hey! I'll pay this guy's bail money if he'll break in to my house!

Thank you, Don!

Take 2

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, have a seat... It looks like I saw you back in 2007, then we got a release saying you were seeing another neurologist."

Mr. Rerun: "Yeah, I didn't think you were that good. But my friend saw you last month, and liked you, so I thought maybe you'd gotten better and came back."

Culture

Dr. Grumpy: "What part of town is best for you to do the testing?"

Mr. Jeopardy: "Down on 3rd street there's an MRI place. It's right across from the Jewish church."

Mary's desk

The new patient signs in up front.

Mary: "Hi, can I get a copy of your insurance card?"

Mr. Card: "I don't have it here. But you said on the phone that you take my insurance."

Mary: "I'm sure we do, but we need a copy of your card to bill."

Mr. Card: "Well, I don't have it. It's Medicare, or maybe Blue Cross. Actually, it could be United. Anyway, it's one of those insurance companies."

Mary: "Okay, but without your card there's a chance you'll end up paying cash for today's visit."

Mr. Card: "I can't afford that. Maybe it's down in my car."

(leaves, 10 minutes go by, comes back)

Mary: "Hi, did you find your card?"

Mr. Card: "No, but I have the info here."

He hands Mary a crumpled McDonald's receipt, with grease stains and an order for 2 Big Macs and fries. On the back he'd scribbled "37642AKT047, expires 7."

Mary: "Do you know what insurance company this is with?"

Mr. Card: "No, but it's one of the big ones. Can't you look it up on the internet?"

Mary: "Sir, we can't accept this in place of an insurance card."

Mr. Card: "Doctors just don't care about people any more."

Leaves.

Health problems

Dr. Grumpy: "Any major illnesses in your family?"

Mrs. Baseball: "My Dad died from being a Phillies fan."

"Imodium & Lomotil Law Firm, can I help you?"

My reader Sue says she works for an attorney in Arizona, and that they regularly get letters from another firm with an, uh, unusual name. To prove it she sent in their letterhead and website.





I'm glad they're not in medicine. Because in this field having "loose" and "brown" in the same sentence generally refers to something else.

Their website is (obviously) loosebrown.com. I have to wonder how many hits they get from people thinking it's a site for copraphilia fetishists.

Thank you, Sue!

Rumba, cha-cha, DUI

Another fine moment in alcohol consumption.

Thank you, Tanya!

Perseveration

Dr. Grumpy: "So what can I do for you?"

Mr. Son: "Mom has been having memory problems, and I've been having to take more and more care of her."

Mrs. Ross: "But son, you're very good at what you're doing."

Mr. Son: "Thanks, mom. And she doesn't remember how to work things at home."

Dr. Grumpy: "Have any tests been done?"

Mr. Son: "Dr. Intern ordered some labs. Here are copies for you." (hands over papers)

Dr. Grumpy: "Thank you, let me look through these..."

Mrs. Ross: "Dr. Intern is very good at what he's doing."

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you have a list of medications?"

Mr. Son: "Yes, I wrote them down." (hands over note card)

Dr. Grumpy: "Thanks."

Mrs. Ross: "Doctor, I think you're very good at what you're doing."

No comment

Actual headline posted on CNN today.

Thank you, Webhill!

Crap!

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, so do your symptoms get worse when you..."

(patient stands up, and starts clearing off MY DESK, moving my can of Diet Coke, pens, mouse, etc.)

Dr. Grumpy: "Um, what are you doing?"

Mrs. Mom: "I'm clearing off your desk."

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes, but why?"

Mrs. Mom: "So I can change Jessica. She has a poopy diaper."

Ride like the wind, Bullseye!

Yes, we at Dr. Grumpy are now featuring all kinds of fun outdoor activities.

Thank you, Tab!

Support your local ER

I'd like to thank Amy for sending in this great ad she saw.





Because, let's face it, NOTHING goes better together than alcohol and potentially dangerous physical activity.

Make up your mind!

Quote which appeared on an MRI report today:

"The arthritic changes at this level appear to be mild, perhaps mild to moderate. They're in the mild to severe range."