Extreme sports

Yes, just another day in the competitive, gut-wrenching, in-your-face world of professional Scrabble.

Thank you, M!

Mary, call the psychic hotline

I'd like to thank my reader Tony, who says he found this on his fax machine this morning.

(click to enlarge)

Doctor talk

Dr. Grumpy: "Your hands are pretty sweaty. It looks like you have hyperhidrosis."

Mr. Thermo: "Um, no, I'm Italian."

How's the other foot?

Found this in a hospital chart today:

"She has dementia and osteomyelitis in her right foot."

All Quiet on the Western Front

He stood there, shell shocked, with a thousand yard stare
In the last 48 hours he'd survived unspeakable horrors, but never left his station
Now, I needed to talk to him.
I didn't want to, but only he could answer my question.
I'd rather have left him alone.

He was like you and me until recently
But now front-line combat had turned him into a broken shell
Clothes disheveled, hair uncombed, hands shaking
An unlit cigarette hung from his quivering lips

But he was still a man with job to do
As I began speaking to him he summoned his composure
And softly answered my question
"Sorry, sir," he said "We're all out of the iPhone 4s."

Crime update

For those of you losing sleep over the marauding bridge thieves I reported on earlier this month, I can now bring you some good news: They've been caught.

Thank you, Moose!

Shameless promo

Because I think Fizzy is absolutely one of the best medical cartoonists (Netter wasn't a cartoonist, people) I'm suggesting you have a look at her new book.

It's a collection of her best cartoons, and is available in both paper and eBook forms.

You can buy it here.

Please note: Dr. Fizzy did not pay me to write this. I just think she's great at capturing the insanity of medical training in her work.

THANK YOU, NORDSTROM!

Although I should note November 27 is a Sunday this year, and this may be an old picture. But thank you to everyone who sent it in.

Dependence

Annie: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Annie."

Mr. Sofa: "Um, I stopped by my pharmacy on Tuesday to request a refill, and I still don't have it."

Annie: "Hang on... It looks like Dr. Grumpy approved the refill on Tuesday afternoon."

Mr. Sofa: "Well, I still don't have it."

Annie: "Did you call them to see if it's ready?"

Mr. Sofa: "No. I don't have their number. Could you look it up for me?"

Annie: "It's right here. It's 867-"

Mr. Sofa: "Actually, can you call them for me and ask if it's ready?"

Today's criminal tip

When shoplifting, there are some things you shouldn't leave behind.

Thank you, Lee!

House calls are back in style

And they're free!

Thank you, Lawjok!

Germ theory

Mr. Irritant: "Did you just wash your hands?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, yeah. You watched me."

Mr. Irritant: "That's pretty damn insulting. So you think I'm dirty?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No. I wash my hands after every patient, sir. It's good practice."

Mr. Irritant: "That's bullshit. I didn't come here to be treated like a second-class person."

Rescue Heroes!

Yes, yet another busy day for the police department and their K9 corps.

Thank you, Outrider!

Public Service Announcment

Today is World Arthritis Day, and WarmSocks has asked me to help with raising public awareness of Rheumatoid Arthritis.

She wrote in because recently Dr. Phil said on national television and still has it on his web page that obesity is a risk factor for developing rheumatoid arthritis. This is incorrect. Weight is a risk factor for developing osteoarthritis, but not rheumatiod arthritis. These disorders ARE NOT the same.

Her organization is doing a "post your numbers" (or numbers in support of someone else) project Similar to the Facebook "colors" project for breast cancer awareness. They're asking people to post weight/age of onset/current age.

She writes that if you don't know someone with Rheumatoid Arthritis, to please think about "80 pound Lori, diagnosed with juvenile arthritis at age nine. Now fourteen years old, she's lived with arthritis for five years. There is no cure. Please post 80-9-14 as your Facebook status and help raise awareness."