Doctor Grumpy in the House

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page." Dr. Hyper: "HI! THIS IS MIKE HYPER! I'M THE HOSPITALIST ON CALL OVER ...

My current hospital consult is apparently unable to finish any sentence without putting the word "diarrhea" into it somewhere.

 "I have insomnia, but it's only a problem when I'm trying to sleep."

Here's some things you guys have sent in that somehow made it into medical records. Just remember folks, somewhere out there your doctor...

 Okay, time to hit the mailbag for stuff you guys have sent in. First off, we have this label from a home sander: Next is this, from the ins...

After having one for a few months, I highly recommend the Amazon Ring to anyone who's ever wanted to see regular pictures of themselves,...

Currently trapped in line at a pharmacy behind a woman demanding generic Emgality and refusing to leave until she gets it. So I guess I'...

Dr. Hurricane was an attending where I trained. He was one of these people who lived at warp speed. While he was a good teacher, and had a...

 See you next year!

Several months ago Mary and her family got a new puppy. He's still a puppy, but these days he's a 70 pound puppy. He has a lot of en...

 "What should we name our stroke study? Something positive, scientific sounding, helpful..."

Mary: "Okay, on Tuesday Dr. Grumpy can see you at 11:00, or on Thursday we can do 4:15, or on..." Mary took a sip of too-hot coffe...

Body armor? Check. Taser? Check. Pepper spray? Check. Marie riding shotgun on the cart with a baseball bat and tranquilizer gun? Check. Head...

Dr. Grumpy: "Any major illnesses run in your family?" Ms. Daughter: "My dad had cancer. That's about it." Ms. Mother...