Doctor Grumpy in the House

Dr. Grumpy: "Are you right or left handed?" Mr. Vocab: "I can write with either, I'm bisexual." Dr. Grumpy: ...

Dr. Bond was an attending physician where I trained, known for insanely long wait times (like 3 hours or more). Although I never really unde...

Dr. Grumpy: "Any other questions?" Mr. Rem: "Do you think I'm so tired because of all the Oxycontin I'm on?" ...

Seen in a chart:

Howard Gilmore was born in Alabama, and joined the navy when he turned 18. For an enlisted man to become an officer was a rarity at the...

Apparently, we missed the memo about yesterday being an early release day for a teachers meeting. So the twins texted me while I was with ...

Dear Dr. Dipshit, You sent a fax over to my office this morning that only said "PLEASE CALL ME ASAP TO DISCUSS MUTUAL PATIENT IMA DI...

Seen in a hospital chart. This was the entire physical exam performed by a neurosurgeon: "Wait, he left out cyanotic." ...

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page." Mr. Levodopa: "Hi, I'm a patient of Dr. Brain's, and I have Par...

"I'm allergic to any and all manufactured products, regardless of what it is or what it's made from."

Mr. Skoal: "Then the pain radiates from the wrist to the thumb and..." (pauses, reaches onto my desk, and picks up my Diet C...

Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, this is Dr. Grumpy. You guys referred Mrs. Spazzo to me, and I'd called earlier to have her most recent labs faxed...

Seen in a hospital chart:

Veruca Salt is the poster child for spoiled kids. With her demands, manipulative behavior, and spineless father, she's one of the most h...