Doctor Grumpy in the House

Dr. Grumpy: "Any major illnesses in your family?" Mr. Flat: "My Dad was killed by a steamroller."

I'm at the nurses' station, writing a note. A cardiologist puts a chart next to me and sits down. Dr. Snow: "Hi, Ibee."...

I have a pleasantly demented patient, Mrs. Tangle. She's very nice, but quite confused, and getting slowly worse. She's at an assist...

Brent writes in with this bit of drama from his practice: Mr. Husband: "Can you make a house call for my wife? Her asthma is really...

Dr. Grumpy: "Let me order an MRI... Are you claustrophobic?" Mrs. Orlok: "No. I lie in coffins routinely, and don't hav...

Sorry I talked my patient out of letting you touch him. I understand you have to make a living, too. I know I hung up on you when you called...

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary." Ms. Tinfoil: "Hi, I need to see the doctor." Mary: "Okay, we hav...

Mr. Badhair: "I'm here because I want to see an aneurysm specialist." Dr. Grumpy: "Well, sir, I certainly can discuss t...

I understand you're trying to do a medical education tie-in with Valentine's day, but perhaps next year you should stick with someth...

"I have to accept that I'm 40. That means I'm not 39 anymore."

Dr. Grumpy: "Didn't you have a hysterectomy?" Mrs. Giggle: "Yes, why do you ask?" Dr. Grumpy: "Just to be s...

Mr. Octane: "I need a note saying I had a doctor's appointment." Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, for your job?" Mr. Octane: ...