(Of course, there's no money for an up-to-date scanner, since I've been embezzling to support my coke habit and my second family. And committing tax fraud to cover up my embezzlement, of course. I could always copy this patient's SSN from the intake form and take out a loan in his name, but I think I already did that last time he came in and he might put two and two together if it happens again. I should be okay once I manage to murder my wife and collect the life insurance, but meanwhile the premiums are killing me. Oh, well, maybe my Amway side gig will start bringing something in. I wonder if I could recruit this patient into my downline?)
I was transcribing a head CT report once, and the radiologist said, to himself, "That's not supposed to be there!" Later in the report he dictated about what wasn't supposed to be there. My co-worker told me about a time when she was transcribing a chest CT done by the Radiology chief, usually a mellow, soft-spoken individual. She told me that he was dictating away and all of a sudden trailed off, then whispered, "Holy crap!" She said she got to laughing so hard she almost missed what had invoked such a reaction.
I was severely reprimanded once, thus it occurred only one time in my decades-long career (even brought up in a performance review), about my 'unprofessional' consult note ... describing a patient's allergies as "Bzzz, ouch!, (kerplop)" when the cardiothoracic surgeons, and nephrologists prefaced their notes with pictograms of the particular organ they were providing their observation.
We don't use voice clips in our pacs system. There just so happen to be one that we came across and listened to it since it was strange. Yeah. It was of the radiologist saying "Oh F***!". Yeah. That got deleted.
(Of course, there's no money for an up-to-date scanner, since I've been embezzling to support my coke habit and my second family. And committing tax fraud to cover up my embezzlement, of course. I could always copy this patient's SSN from the intake form and take out a loan in his name, but I think I already did that last time he came in and he might put two and two together if it happens again. I should be okay once I manage to murder my wife and collect the life insurance, but meanwhile the premiums are killing me. Oh, well, maybe my Amway side gig will start bringing something in. I wonder if I could recruit this patient into my downline?)
ReplyDelete(Honestly, I can't even tell where the gray stops and the white starts. I'm just making shit up at this point.)
ReplyDelete(Haruspicy with gerbils just isn't cutting it anymore. Next time I go to the pet store, I think I'm going to have to spring for some cats.)
ReplyDelete(I think I may have spotted some taurine molecules in there though.)
ReplyDeleteWhy go to all the bother and expense of getting an up-to-date scanner when you can just give the old one a fresh coat of paint and re-theme it?
ReplyDeleteI presume “M” doesn’t work in Grumpyville.
ReplyDeleteUh-Oh. The radiologists are getting restless.
ReplyDeleteI was transcribing a head CT report once, and the radiologist said, to himself, "That's not supposed to be there!" Later in the report he dictated about what wasn't supposed to be there. My co-worker told me about a time when she was transcribing a chest CT done by the Radiology chief, usually a mellow, soft-spoken individual. She told me that he was dictating away and all of a sudden trailed off, then whispered, "Holy crap!" She said she got to laughing so hard she almost missed what had invoked such a reaction.
ReplyDeleteBedfitch
ReplyDeletehttps://yaledailynews.com/blog/2021/09/07/in-eight-year-scheme-former-medical-school-employee-charged-with-stealing-millions-from-yale/
It has been done
I was severely reprimanded once, thus it occurred only one time in my decades-long career (even brought up in a performance review), about my 'unprofessional' consult note ... describing a patient's allergies as "Bzzz, ouch!, (kerplop)" when the cardiothoracic surgeons, and nephrologists prefaced their notes with pictograms of the particular organ they were providing their observation.
ReplyDeleteJust get an MRI. CT scans are the pitts for grey/white matter delineation!
ReplyDeleteThe radiologist forgot to add that ubiquitous catch-all disclaimer "suggest correlation with clinical findings!"
ReplyDeleteWe don't use voice clips in our pacs system. There just so happen to be one that we came across and listened to it since it was strange. Yeah. It was of the radiologist saying "Oh F***!". Yeah. That got deleted.
ReplyDelete