Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."
Miss Myelin: "Hi, I'm a Multiple Sclerosis patient of yours, and I wanted you to know I'm in the emergency room. The doctor here is probably going to call you."
Dr. Grumpy: "Okay... Why did you go to ER?"
Miss Myelin: "I lost vision in my left eye. I didn't want to bother you, so I came right in. I was worried that I should get it checked out."
Dr. Grumpy: "Sounds like you did the right thing. Has the doctor seen you yet?"
Miss Myelin: "No, but they just got me back here."
Dr. Grumpy: "When did you lose vision in your eye?"
Miss Myelin: "About a month ago."
Dr. Grumpy: "A MONTH AGO? Why didn't you call me?!!!"
Miss Myelin: "Like I said, I didn't want to bother you."
Dr. Grumpy: "Did you start the MS medication, the Tyglatfiderexa, that I prescribed 2 months ago?"
Miss Myelin: "No. I don't know why you gave me that. I informed you at the first visit that I won't take narcotics."
Dr. Grumpy: "It's not a narcotic! I told you that. It's for your immune system. Who said it was a narcotic?"
Miss Myelin: "This lady I met."
Dr. Grumpy: "Is she a doctor?"
Miss Myelin: "No, she's the cashier at Qwik-Mart. But I think her boyfriend's dad is."
"I didn't want to bother you." Apparently just after midnight is an okay time, though...
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure why people trust everyone but their doctor when it comes to medical advice.
ReplyDelete*click*
ReplyDeleteAnother one who goes through life blindfolded.
ReplyDeleteGod, I wonder what a Quik Mart Cashier's Malpractice premiums are like.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering if the cashier did not pick up the phone before Miss Myelin called you.
ReplyDeleteheaddesk
ReplyDeleteheaddesk
headdesk
I'm jus gonna leave this right here fo' ya...
ReplyDelete15 Dumbest Paitents Ever!
In situations like this I always wonder what made them finally decide it was an emergency? Is the eye hanging out of her head now?
ReplyDeleteSo? What turned the tide that she decided it was time to tell ya? Did she mention that she decided to put you in her will, or what? True confessions before anything else goes wrong?
ReplyDeletePsych admit?
ReplyDeleteWell.. MS is known to occasionally impair cognition.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.neurology.org/content/41/5/685.short etc
One of the things you learn after being in the med biz for a long time is that many, if not most of the lay public, believe that ANYONE and EVERYONE knows more about medicine than the doctor or nurse caring for them. Sigh. TCG, RN
ReplyDeleteThe most surprising part of the post is "I won't take narcotics". Everything else is par for the course..
ReplyDeleteMy uncle's brothers mother is a realtor and she knows a doctor who concurs.
ReplyDelete"MS is known to occasionally impair cognition."
ReplyDeleteThat is an understatement. One of my patients forgets and sometimes can be found in the elevator going up and down. He is so sweet.
I have had a few of those "alternative medicine" folks, too, but really, you need to be picky (or at least know the credentials) of your expert.
My mom (a pharmacist) has a favorite reply for this stuff: "So, how many years did YOU study medicine?"
ReplyDeleteAlso "It's your body, if that's what you want to do, you'll have to live with it."
She deals with a lot of wealthy, high-maintenance patients, the kind who can afford all the alternative medicine crap.