I think medical charts could use a bit more figurative language...
Patient's breathing was as shallow as his gene pool.
Skin was as pale as the ghost he kept claiming to see.
Heart rate soared like an eagle over a mountain when I brought out the needle...and then dropped like a plane out of gas when I said the injection couldn't go in his arm.
When I was working at an ER in Scotland, I once got an apologetic call from a GP (primary care physician) on a Sunday who wanted me to see an old dear with chronic cervical spondylosis. She obviously didn't need the emergency consult, but was apparently quite persuasive.
So to get rid of her (and go back to his golf, I guess) the doctor sent her to our ER with a note that said, "Thank you for seeing Mrs. Spurling, with a chronic pain in the neck."
Hey, I think I have had those. Now I just consider that baseline and go on.
ReplyDeleteOuch
ReplyDeleteWere they trying to refer to episodic cluster headaches?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like they've been talking to my patients.
ReplyDeleteAgenericdoc: How often do you get headaches?
Ms. Migraine: Once a week.
Agenericdoc: How long do the headaches last?
Ms. Migraine: Oh, about a month or two.
I.e. Grumpy brainwashes his patients to 'occur' at his rooms weekly. Good for the cash flow.
ReplyDeleteI think medical charts could use a bit more figurative language...
ReplyDeletePatient's breathing was as shallow as his gene pool.
Skin was as pale as the ghost he kept claiming to see.
Heart rate soared like an eagle over a mountain when I brought out the needle...and then dropped like a plane out of gas when I said the injection couldn't go in his arm.
No reason for medicine to be dull...
Exactly like an episode of "Two and a Half Men."
ReplyDeleteAnonymous @ 3:41 PM,
ReplyDeleteWhen I was working at an ER in Scotland, I once got an apologetic call from a GP (primary care physician) on a Sunday who wanted me to see an old dear with chronic cervical spondylosis. She obviously didn't need the emergency consult, but was apparently quite persuasive.
So to get rid of her (and go back to his golf, I guess) the doctor sent her to our ER with a note that said, "Thank you for seeing Mrs. Spurling, with a chronic pain in the neck."
And he had crossed out the 'with'.