Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."
Mrs. Flush: "Hi, I have an appointment in 20 minutes with Dr. Grumpy, and won't be able to make it. My kid clogged the toilet, and it's backed up all over the floor. I have to stay here and wait for the emergency plumber."
Mary: "Okay, that's fine. Just call us when you have time to reschedule and..."
Mrs. Flush: "I will. Are you going to charge me for the last minute cancel? I can text you a picture if you need proof."
Dr G,
ReplyDeleteI am a neonatologist, and get to see quite a few high-definition snaps of bowel movements at the clinics.
I've even had a mom that brought in a few DAYS worth of nappies in zip-lock bags, with changing times noted on post-its, ostensibly to demonstrate diurnal variations to her baby's poo.
I think she might well have been one of your patients.
And no, she didn't have any other symptoms of OCD...
As a speech pathologist in a hospital I used to see older patients with swallowing problems daily. For some reason, when you ask about eating, drinking, and swallowing, it frequently triggers thoughts of bowel movements...or lack thereof...in older people. Took me a while to convince these people that I wanted to know how the food went in, not how it came out. Fortunately I switched to peds before cell phone pics became common.
ReplyDelete"Or just check my Facebook page."
ReplyDeleteI don't know why people think a picture counts as "proof" for an excuse for lateness due to a current problem: they could have taken that picture at any time.
ReplyDelete"I knew I should have cut him into smaller pieces first, but I just got lazy. Next time I'll know better."
ReplyDeleteRemarkably calm for a woman, women in my experience can handle just about anything other than the toilet backing up. I mean , kid has arm that looks like a corkscrew, losing blood from gash on head, dog has been hit by car, you name it they can handle it. But let the swirling waters come up to the lip of the porcelain convenience and it is freak out time.
ReplyDeleteAnyone agree.
It could have been worse: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/farting-cows-blow-barn-build-methane-article-1.1594986 true story....cow farts cause explosion
ReplyDeleteThe average computer-illiterate doesn't know enough about computers to fake a timestamp. With a smartphone they're also denied the easy answer of changing the system clock.
ReplyDelete@Packer:
ReplyDeleteSorry to burst your bubble, but I can handle a clogged toilet just fine. I know how to shut off the water supply to the toilet and I know how to plunge it.
The average computer-illiterate doesn't know there is a timestamp to begin with.
ReplyDeleteAlso @Packer, this chick can pull the pot up off the floor, snake that sucker stem to stern, and re-seat the wax ring better than Mr. Anonymous could ever dream of. He'll be off in the kitchen ralphing in the sink.
ReplyDeleteAnon 1/30 @9:25 ---I know why you are Anon--- You don't want thousands of marriage proposals, being already married.
ReplyDeleteThe wax ring thing seals the deal, in more ways than one.
Did Mrs. Flush get charged for the last-minute cancel?
ReplyDelete