Dr. Test is down the street from me. He sends me infrequent referrals.
I consistently send him notes about visits, listing what, if any, tests I'm ordering. Within an hour of one being faxed I always get a return fax from his office, listing the tests that I just said I'm ordering, and asking me to send the results to him when they become available.
I don't know why, but I find this thoroughly irritating. I'm actually quite obsessive about sending letters and tests to referring physicians, and after years of doing so it annoys me that this one still asks. Of course, there's also the (likely) possibility that the letters go to a trained chimpanzee who reads the last paragraph, fills out the results-request form, and faxes it back without the doctor ever seeing it.
Last week, on a quiet morning due to some last-minute cancellations, I sent his office a fax on a non-existent patient saying I was ordering a "serum profactor 7-CoA." To the best of my knowledge there is no such test.
Within 15 minutes we got a note back saying "Mr. Non Existent isn't a patient in our practice. Please send us a copy of his serum profactor 7-CoA result as soon as it becomes available."
I amuse myself.
Laboratory Test Result - Urgent
ReplyDeleteMr N. Existant. DOB IDONTNO
Serum pro-factor 7-CoA Normal Range (0-100 nmoles/m3)
Comment
Serum Haemolysed so result invalid. Please resend repeat sample urgently. Suggest supplementary testing for profactor 7-CoA stimulating hormone to determine whether deficiency is primary or secondary. Further clinical details required to assist with interpretation.
LOL! Not exactly a smart autofax. Whoops!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your Monday, Grumpy!
I think that professionalism dictates that you promptly notify Dr. Test of the abnormal serum profactor 7-CoA results. Perhaps after hours via pager or answering service. You should start recruiting co-conspirators now.
ReplyDeleteOoh, neurology shenanigans! Fun fun!
ReplyDeleteParty on!
On his blog he has an entry about moronic neurologists ordering non-existent tests and sending notes to the wrong doctor.
ReplyDeleteWhen people say : "I amuse myself", I get a completely different meaning than what you describe.
ReplyDeleteI'll go with the chimpanzee theory, but perhaps "trained" is an overstatement.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the chimpanzees were working that day
ReplyDeletemurgatr
Pharm.Tech. RDC'06
Why do you say that you amuse yourself?
ReplyDeleteDr. Oz knows what a "serum profactor 7-CoA" test is. He recommended it on Oprah a few weeks ago. I'm shocked that you're not keeping up with the latest medical advances, Dr. Grumpy.
ReplyDeleteFrom medical=legal standpoint, nice additional cost to his practice for EMR service sales rep...SEE the auto CHIMP (consistiant health information monitoring program) replies will allow you to document your review, (for which you can bill) AND will provide documentation you anticipated follow up on results from the consultant, so when that pesky malpractice suit arrives, you can show them THE CONSULTANT DID IT>>>> or did not, as the case may be.... I'm glad I gave up meaness instead of Dr G this year for Lent...
ReplyDeleteLOL @ CrazyRx man! So true, I mean every doctor should aspire to be like Oz...
ReplyDeleteNext time try requesting results from the ID-10-T test.
Send a fax about a 1D-10-T test of Dr. Test's fax replies. Flesh it out with a bit of medicalese so it's not so obvious.
ReplyDeleteKeep on amusing us as well.
ReplyDeleteThis just made my day. And the very first comment also made my day. You both made me laugh out loud and almost spill my drink.
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me of things done by some of my friends during undergrad when we were suspicious that our professors were not actually reading our papers or essay exam questions. Several friends wrote in the middle of their papers, "Dr. X, I've heard you don't read our papers. Are you reading this?" One friend even offered to take his adviser out to coffee in the middle of his comprehensive exams for his M.A.
ReplyDeleteNot one professor ever passed the test! They all failed to respond to the challenge or the invitation to coffee!
@Eliza
ReplyDeleteI see what you did there!
Send them a fax saying that you couldn't possibly share test results with them because Mr Non Existent is not their patient and it would be a breach of confidentiality, and what were they thinking?!
ReplyDelete